Can't: Can't we go any further?
by pledge520
Summary: Edward and Bella are BFFs. She has been in love with him for years, what will she do? Get away from it? Fight it? What happen when Edward realise that? What will he do?
1. Chapter 1 Flashback

Chapter One

BPOV

"Bella, I 'm here" he yelled downstairs. I know that sound, which belongs to my BFF and my first and only crush, Edward Cullen. I will missed that sound forever if I am not here. but will I not be here? IDK, but sure as hell, I won't left without him.

"But he doesn't belong to you" a voice in my mind started to say.

"He belongs to Tanya" that sound repeats again. I sigh.

I knew it. He will never belong to me, right.

"No, no, no..., he will if you work on it." I sigh again.

Will this really be happening if what I do is just to work on it?

I snapped myself mentally. "

This won't be happening, Bella. He loves Tanya!" I murmured in order to remember it again.

"Yeah, coming!!" I said while grabbing all the things I need and stepped out of the house. There he was, the Adonis itself, what I can only think of to describe him is the word "Greek God" ,wearing a black blouse, and skinny jeans, it sound girly, but it matches every parts of him, which makes him always perfect and gorgeous.

"Hey, morning, Edward. THz for the ride." I said.

"Belly, you are always welcome." he chuckled. this is the nickname he gave me when we were young.

But only he is allowed to call me that name. With the others, I would usually pissed off. I just can't be angry with him.

The whole ride was completely silent.

It 's actually weird. Sometimes I thought why he needs to give me ride each day. He should be giving it to Tanya, shouldn't? But small parts of my heart is actually very happy. I enjoyed having an alone time with Edward. I love these little moments although they were short.

I was in deep thought, thinking about how I met this Adonis.

i never think i can have any friends. I was always Clumsy Bella. No one likes me. Edward was the first one to talk to me in the 5th grade, when I first move to this small town, Folks.

I used to live with my mum, Renee in Florida. But when she remarried. I admitted to her that I want to spend sometime with my dad, Charlie, the chief police. I was much alike to him, we don't like to talk much, but we know what the other one feels. it's great to be with him.

I stared straight to Edward 's emerald green eyes. They are so bright and beautiful. I am always lost when I met his eyes. Again, I thought about the day i met him. the memory seem to be so clear to me just like they happened yesterday.

FLASHBACK:)

_It was my first school day. I was nervous, but mostly frightened. I am afraid I cannot get any new friends. I was always kicked out in Florida. They do not like me, I knew that. _

_In the break, I was sitting under a tree, reading the book which dad has just given me as a homecoming present._

_Suddenly, someone felt from the tree. It was a boy. Around my age, I think. He was so beautiful. My cheeks burned. _

_He tried to stand up, but failed. I knelt down and held out my hand, trying my best to pull him up, but I knew I would easily fall. Uh-huh. I made it, falling... with that boy on top of me. i look straight into his emerald eyes and blushed again. _

_He giggled. and held out his hand. I know this gesture - trying to pull me up, but i was embarrassed. _

_" I wont pull you down, don't worry." he said and giggled._

_I held out my hand and said "thanks."_

_"you are new here, right? I haven't seen you around before. I am Edward Cullen.," he said. _

_"Yep, I am Isabella Swan, but you may call me Bella if you like."_

_"I would love to, Bel...la..." he said and a big grin shown on his face. _

_Then, we talked about random things, like what's our favourite books, and little things about our family. I learnt that his parents were called Esme and Carlisle. They were both nice, as that is what he explains. I know he had got a little sister named Alice too. He said she has been dying to see the new girl- me. I don't understand why people would be looking forward to seeing me. At any rate, I suppose I would be meeting her during lunch break. I wish she would be as nice as Edward would._

_That day, I get to know some more people: Alice, our little pixie. Rosaline, the beautiful blonde. Emmett, the giant bear. And jasper, our big bro. Alice is Edward 's sister and Emmett is their big bro. Rosaline and Jasper are twins. But I dun think they look alike. We instantly became friends. and I am so happy that I got to have some true friends in this new school. _

END OF FLASHBACK :)


	2. Chapter 2 Jasper and Alice hooking up

**I don't own Twilight, they belong to SM. **

**Guys, it is the first time that I wrote stories in English. **

**I know I got so much grammatical mistakes, I am so sorry, but I hope you will still like this story. **

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Chapter Two

Back to the reality, called to the sound that was made by Edward's car, the Volvo.

His baby, that's how he referred it. His parents bought him this when he was fifteen.

I don't understand Rosaline and Edward's love for that cars. Just like they don't understand mine in reading.

Everyone is staring at us, or more accurately, our car.

Edward's car is one of the most expensive cars in our little town, Forks.

I felt uneasy; I didn't like to be in the middle of everyone's attention.

The teens were all staring at it.

I don't know why people can still be so interesting at that stupid car after seeing it everyday.

Walking out of the car, we went to join our own gang, but only Rosie and Em were already there.

" Hey, morning, Em and Rosie."

" Morning" they murmured.

After more or less 10 min. Jas and Ali came. Hand in hand!

We were all surprised, except Edward, he smirked. He KNEW it! How fucking he was?!

"You two..." Rose said after recovering from the shock.

Although we all knew, they are meant to be together. However, we still were shocked when things were done.

In addition, most seriously, Rose and I do not know anything about it!

"Ali, you are going to pay for this." I said in an angry tone.

"No, please, Bella. Forgive me. I am too happy that I forget to tell you all."

She knows how angry I can be when it came to be about friends and secret.

"This is how you treat friends when you have a bf." Rosie said.

"No, bella, no rosie, no, no......"

Then, the bell rang. We all go to our own ways.

Edward was at my side. We have the same lesson, Biology.

I am gonna ask him, how can he hide things from me?

Fortunately, we only have to do an experiment today. which means I will have extra time to talk to him.

We are the first to finish. We are always the best partner.

Here my time comes...

" Edward, Am I your friends?" I said, pretending I was greatly hurt. With puppy eyes.

Alice taught me this skill. I have been learning this for hours on that day. We all knew he could not resist me.

" what are you saying?" he asked with a confused look.

" don't u think that I am trustful enough to know about secrets?"

" what are you saying?" I don't understand!" he spoke in a louder voice.

" you hide the fact that Ali and Jasper are together! Am I right?" I hissed

" Well I am defeat." he said softly.

" Ok, what?" I asked, thinking what can he say.

" First, Alice said she wanted to tell it herself,..." then I interrupted him

" You did what she said, I never know that Edward Cullen is a person liked this." I teased.

" Hey, don't interrupted! I haven't finished!"

" okay,... okay..." I said with a smile on a face.

" I do want to tell you when we are riding to school, but I saw that you were in deep thoughts.

so I don't wanna interrupted you. How nice I was?!" he said in an angry tone.

Now I felt guilty, I never thought he did notice about it. And now I have been complaining about it all.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! " I mentally strike myself.

" Well, actually I am thinking about how we met." I am sure I have blushed.

He giggled, and said " Don't be embarrassed." with his cocky smile.

Then, he whispered in my ears." I loved it when you blushed"

My cheeks got even hotter than ever. It is so sweet but I knew he is just being a nice person and he never means it. It hurts so much.

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hope u like this chapter. i would be so happy if you review. This story is going to count on your support


	3. Chapter 3 An Awful Day

**AN: pls give some reviews! i really wanted to know how this story is going on and pls give some advice! Just click on that green button which won't cause you a lot of time to write a review! Pls, I beg you! your work will be appreciated. **

**If no reviews for this chapter, I think i will end this story with the "bella" part, and stop posting the "edward" part, that is what I intend to do. but that depends on you readers... the life of this story depends on YOU. and pls don't kill this story by not giving reviews which won't cost you even a "5 min".**

**pledge520 xoxo**

**This story belongs to SM. **

**Although I really want to own those characters. **

**Edward and Bella, I luv u!**

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Chapter Three An Awful Day

I walk in silence to my next class. Then someone accidentally jumped into me. Mike... my stalker.

"Oh, Sorry, I did not see you" I said. Of course, I did not see you; I am looking for my Edward. I added it in my mind.

"No problem. It's my fault actually." he smiled.

"Hey, Bella!" he said looking down at his shoes. I am curious about the thing that is making him so embarrassed. I never see him like that.

"No, Bella you always see him like that!

He is always like this when he wants to ask you out." the voice in my mind said.

"We have a prom this weekend, you know?" he asked.

"Yea," i nodded. Is he going to invite me?! Pls, no...

"I am thinking of going with you. What do you think?" he said shyly.

OMG, what am I going to say? Should I say yes? However, what if Edward asked my shortly. If I agreed, I will gonna miss a chance to be with Edward. Ah~

"Don't dream, Bella. This would never be happening" the voice said again.

"Yea, it would never happen." I said it in my mind.

"I would think about it. I am telling you tomorrow, does it sound good?"

"Sure, see you tomorrow." he rushed to the cafeteria. Yea, the bell has rung already and I didn't hear anything. Mike, you have used 5 min of my time!! I am pissed. How can people asked to go to the prom use five minutes. What a waste!

I rushed to our table and wanted to ask Alice and Rosaline's suggestion, as they were the only ones that knows I am in love with Edward. At the same time, I can't wait to see Edward even though it hasn't pass an hour since the last time I saw him. I have already missed him.

I opened the door and saw the something terrible and horrible thing again in my life. It always ripped my heart off. Edward! He is making out with Tanya again, that bitch. Not that I haven't expected that. However, my heart is again bleeding. Can I stand it any longer? I asked myself.

I tried to act normal and sit back at our table. Alice is already there. She saw the whole play. She seemed to be as angry as I am.

When I got there,

she whispered" Bella, everything is ok, please trust him."

I knew she was comforting me. Nevertheless, my tears still slipped out and i started to cry. I can't help but ran out of the cafeteria. I have a lot to take in today.

I didn't go back to the class, instead I instantly ran home.

I crawled into a ball and started sobbing.

I have always thought of suicide, I can't hurt Charlie like that! I will make his life like hell if I did what I thought. No, I am not gonna considered that. Maybe, I am going to Florida, to my mum's house, and stayed there for the rest of my life, escaping from Edward. However, can I? I asked it repeatedly in my mind. Can I really leave the place I have spent for almost 5-6 years with and leave all the ones I loved? They will hate me for sure.

One definite thing for tonight is that I will be sleepless again tonight. How many times have I been sleepless because of Edward? I asked myself. I can't even count the times. I just knew it would be hundreds... thousands... or even more.

Another important point is, I still have to confirm with Mike whether I am going to prom with him.

Should I? When I am in love with someone else...

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AN: **pls give some reviews! i really wanted to know how this story is going on and pls give some advice! Just click on that green button which won't cause you a lot of time to write a review! Pls, I beg you! your work will be appreciated. **

**If no reviews for this chapter, I think i will end this story with the "bella" part, and stop posting the "edward" part, that is what I intend to do. but that depends on you readers... the life of this story depends on YOU. and pls don't kill this story by not giving reviews which won't cost you even a "5 min".**

**pledge520 xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4 Alice

**Thanks for those who review last time. i am grateful , pls DO continue to review. **

**This is a special chaper for you all to take a look into Alice' mind. How great she is.**

**I don't own Twilight, SM does. **

Chapter Four

APOV

What have just happened? Bella stormed out of the room, Edward is making out with that bitch again. Oh, no! That can't be.

I am so pissed at this moment. I knew he have every right to do this, I mean- making out. But I can't just let Bella go and do nothing and sat there with wild eyes and being an idiot. I ran to Edward, separated both of them.

I pulled him to one of the corners holding his wrist. I knew I needed a silent conversation with him. He should know that Bella loves him. But should I expose this secret? Bella will be angry with me.

" Edward, what have you done?" I whispered, I hope he had got the message that I am now very angry with him!

"what have I done? I am kissing Tanya just now and you interrupted us! Did you know it?" he says in an angry tone.

He does know what he is doing, what the hell! I cannot understand. Doesn't he love Bella? Doesn't he?

"Maybe, he doesn't know he is in love with her." a voice in my mind spoke.

"You idiot!" I yelled.

I let go his wrist and stormed out of the cafeteria, and joined Jasper, who come in at the right time, I needed him this moment.

I have left a shocked Edward inside there. I have never yelled at him in front of the public, which means I am very angry when this happen. He really doesn't know. Are they blind?!

We walked and walked and we finally sat under a tree. Yea, I knew this tree. It does have a history. This is where Edward and Bella met when they were in the 5th grade. This is the place where they were linked to each other at the very beginning.

"Hey Ali, what happened?" Jasper asked lovingly. This is why I loved him. He can always comfort you when you are unhappy or sad.

I started sobbing again on his shoulder.

"They are meant to be each other? Aren't they?" I asked

"Who?" he asked, confused by my statement.

"Bella and Edward."

"I knew they are. Why do you talk about this again?"

I tell him the events I saw today. He was not happy too. I can see it. He always loves Bella as his little sister. He cares about her. I knew it.

But then he said," Ali, you should know, everybody has their own life. They will found it out eventually. Do not worry! As you said, if they are really meant to be together, they will be at last."

"But when? When Bella is finally married?! Edward cannot do anything then." I said.

He then pecked me on the cheek. This is what he does to smooth me. I loved it and started turning it into a passionate kiss. I have really forgotten about this for a minute.

However, deep down in my heart, I am still worried about them. I have a feeling that something big is going to happen and Edward will regret it forever. However, I do not know what will happen. I hoped I could see the future and do things to stop all the bad things from happening.

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**I promise that the later chapters will all be BPOV. **

**Indeed, I have already finished this part (Can't we go any further?), **

**There will be more: Part II "Can't you wait for me?", --- that will all be EPOV **

**And I have change the title, if you have notice, telling you that it is PART I**

**those who have great ideas can tell me, and maybe I can change it to how you like them , but the plot won't change much. **

**The first 3 reviewers will get to have a sneak peak to the next chapter, I hope there would be even 1-2 review(s) for every chapter. **

**If you want me to continue the other parts, pls do tell me, or else, I will stop after this part, there will be a total of 8 chapters in this part.**

**Thz for reading. **

**pledge520 xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5 Cafeteria Fight

**this story belongs to SM, just in case u dun know**

**ths for the reviews, they give me real support. I am still unsure about something. I would like to have ideas for the up-coming chapters. **

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Chapter Five

BPOV

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring....

The alarm went off. I really didn't want to wake up at this moment. No one knows how late I slept yesterday. You couldn't even guessed it. 5 at the morning. How horrible it was for a girl like me.

I wake up, get out of the bed, and soon tripped over my own FEET. You haven't heard it wrong. MY OWN FEET. It was really me, not fake, but clumsy Bella.

I went into the bathroom after I have straightened myself up. I took our shower, and the smell of the shampoo waken me up. For that moment, I wasn't that sleepy.

After getting out of the bathroom, I went to the closet to look for something to wear for today. Usually, I would have Alice directing me what to wear through SMS. but since what had happened yesterday, I felt that she might think I will have skipped school. But being the good girl I am. I won't.

i looked through my clothes, finding something comfy to wear. If, Alice is not going to ask me to dress properly for school today, then, I would prefer to dress as comfy as possible, as there is not always a chance like this. In addition, the most important is that, I do not know how to match those things.

i found a pair of light blue jeans, match with a plain T-shirt. I went to the mirror, and saw myself. This is I, the plain Isabella.

I went down stairs and no one was there. Charlie must have already took off. I made myself a bowl of cereal, and went out. Yes, no Volvo today. He must be taking Tanya.

Then, I would take my own truck, that old Chevy, what the Cullens and Hales called it. However, I love it, although it is old or whatever...

The bell was ringing when I parked at the school-lot. I went back to them and saw a surprise Alice.

"Bella, I never thought you are gonna make it." said a screaming Alice.

"Yea, life sucks, right? "

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School went well until lunch. The most unexpected things I have ever heard, said aloud from Edward's mouth.

When Alice and I went to the cafeteria. We have gone to grab some food before we sat down on our table. Then i saw Edward approaching us.

" Hey guys, I 've got something to announce."

" What? Are you going to marry? "said Emmett teasingly.

My heart ached. Just like, it was bleeding. Alice and Rose looked at me worryingly. I gave them a smile to let them know I am okay. I do not like people to worry about me.

"No, don't be silly, Em. I am not those kinds of people who will marry just after High School."

"Okay, then, what is that you want to ANNOUNCE?" Rose asked.

"Actually... i want you guys to do me a favor, can you?" Edward pleaded.

I am curious what will make Edward plead like this?!

"What 's that? " Alice asked, just she knew what is coming next.

"I plan to bring Tanya back home to see Carlisle and Esme, I know you guys don't like her much, but I...," he couldn't say anymore because someone has just interrupted him.

"What? Are you kidding me?" Alice yelled.

"Hey, Eddie bring me home is none of your business." Tanya, the bitch snapped.

"Is it really none of my business?" screamed Rosaline.

"Definitely, who are you? a whore in the Cullen family?" Tanya asked.

"You bitch. You have no right to talk to the-future-Mrs.-Cullen like this, which you won't ever be!" Emmett yelled.

No one has ever said something like this to Rosalie, and no one will.

" Ha! Who said I won't be? I love Eddie and he loves me. He will definitely marry me in the future, and then I will be the-future-Mrs.-Cullen. We are going to make a cute couple."

"In your dreams!" I mentally screamed.

" No one ever knows the future." Alice said slowly and clearly.

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**If you have read the previous chapters, you would know that i have completed this part. and yet I planned to let bella become a singer, if your object, you might give me ideas of what she should be. Review me!! and let me know**

**Pls review, love you all. Same as last time, those who review will get a sneak peak for the next chapter. Hope you enjoy this story!**

**pledge520 xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6 Last Day

**A/N: Sorry, guys, I know I have promised you a sneak peak if you have review. **

** Sorry! but you will have a longer sneak peak this time than those who review this story.**

** Everyone who review will get a sneak peak, I promised. Really Sorry!!! ."**

** I don't own Twilight, if you have any ques regarding this.**

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Chapter Six

Today is the last school day before our holiday. We have planned to start it by having a "Movie Day" at the Cullen's house tonight. This house is big, definitely. They had a large, huge TV in a spectacular room just for watching movie. You can now imagine how big their house will be if there were some rooms like these.

Alice planned to go shopping with Rosie and me the next day. SHOPPING! Not that I am happy. It is one of my worst enemies. Alice will just spend too much money on me buying clothes, which I had already loads of them. And I don't need any of them.

School was great. Screams and yells were all around the school. The cheerleaders were flirting with the sports captains. Ewe! Ewe! That is disgusting if you have to witness them. At lunchtime, food fight has started by Emmett. It is gross, but that is great. really good.

--------------FLASHBACK-----------------

"Guys, I just want to throw the food over to Mike for stalking my lil sis. Alice and I are talking about how to prevent Mike when he suddenly said something like that. He threw he hands in the air, but he forgot that he is holding his beloved pizza. While he was imaging throwing the pizza to Mike 's arse. He actually did what he thought.

"Hey watch it, Cullen," Mike snapped.

"He then flies back the pizza he has just been eating.

It accidentally hit Alice's face and then Alice throw it to Jessica... and then...

"THE FOOD FIGHT BEGIN!" someone shout, but we do not know…

No one came to catch us, to the principal's room. No principal. No teachers, nor officers.

Maybe they thought that it is the last day, so they do not want to punish the students. I do not know...

-----------END OF FLASHBACK-----------

Time passed fast, and soon the bell rang for dismissing. The whole school roared, everyone packed their stuff and rushed down the school gate.

I have my last lesson, English writing with Alice. That's why she is at my side right now. We both rushed to our friends. We growled when we saw that bitch there.

"Is she coming tonight?" I asked Alice. Please say no. I do not want to watch a movie while seeing Tanya and Edward sucking each other faces at the middle of the movie. I have had enough at school.

"I don't know." Alice said. "I don't want her to be there neither, she doesn't belong to the Cullen Family Days. "

We kept walking. Alice rushed to Edward's side and asked to talk to him privately for a while. We all wonder what they are going to talked about. Rose and Emmett kept making out. They have the whole holidays to suck each other faces. Can't they wait for a while? They are really "sex fiends". This is how we called them.

After 2- 3 minutes, Edward walked back with a very pissed Alice.

"Darling, why are you so sad?" Jazz asked.

"You asked him." Alice pointed at Edward.

Jasper glared at Edward. If those looks can kill people, I believed Edward must have died a long time ago.

I drive back home myself. Alice told me she would be coming in a few. I did my homework while waiting for her. She must want to talk about things that Edward had told her just now? Right?

10 minutes later, Alice arrived. I knew she had calmed down a lot, just looking at her face, I can already know it.

"Bella, you know why I am here, right?" she asked.

"I think I do. You must have wanted to talk about Edward again. What's it this time?" I asked not knowing what she would be speaking next.

"Bells, I have just talked to Edward, and he told me that Tanya won't be coming to watch the movie with us, but..."

"Yahoo! THz god! She won't be there." I interrupted, bouncing up an down, not knowing what she will said next will stunned me.

" ISABELLA MARIE SWAN. Don't you dare to interrupt Me.?" she yelled

"Sorry" I whispered. I waited for her to talk again.

"What I want to say is that" she inhaled, " she will be coming later, after the movie ends." I let out a growl.

"but this seems to be your suggestion, if i had not mistaken.' she continues.

"Well, I..." I don't know what to say. I am angry with myself for giving that idea. But at this moment I know I have something important waiting for me. I digest what Alice has just said. It means Tanya will be officially introduced tonight. That is Edward's intention. I have never thought that this day would come. I have always been thinking that they two are just playing.

Alice waited, for me to get things straight in my head, and said," I am here to tell you to prepare. I am afraid you will break down at that moment.' Then she hugged me.

Tonight will be a long night and it will change everything forever

---ISABELLA MARIE SWAN

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**i hope you like this chapter, really want your ideas.**

**Sorry for not giving you guys the sneak peak. **

**You know who you are, I don't have to write your names here! **

**Pls REVIEW! Just the green button! **

**Can you see that it is now saying" Pls click me and write sth to the writer"? .**


	7. Chapter 7 Anounce

**Thz for reviewers for the last chapter, they are really supportive.**

**i don't own Twilight, SM does, though I would do what I can do to get it if I can~ **

Chapter Seven

Alice brings me the outfits for tonight. At least, as she said, need to win Tanya on the outside. She asks me to be strong, as Edward will soon know whom he is meant to be with. Yea, I hope so, but I knew it would always be a lie to me. He will not ever notice it. "Boys are stupid." Rose always said this. I know, I know, I know. Tonight will change everything, I promise to myself. What Edward do tonight will either make us closer or forever split us apart?

I had an opportunity to L.A. Last year, I performed a live show in the school anniversary and sang the song that have all my feelings in it-" You belong with me" by Taylor Swift.

I was given the chance to go to LA and become a singer. However, at that time, I do not want to leave Forks, I couldn't leave Edward, this would tear me apart.

They were very kind. They offered me this chance, and said that they would wait until I graduate. They said, if I ever change my mind, contact them. I never thought I would become a singer so I have never told it to Rose or Alice.

I peep into the bag, and there was a purple Lipsy Stud Pocket Dress, which definitely suits me, a pair of black scandal, and a black bag. Alice is perfect, she even provided me accessories like a silver-plated bracelet, a ring with the word "HELL" on it, that is not my style, but if that makes me look hot, why not? A gold necklace with the syllable "K". She even borrows her perfume to me.

"Alice, you are the bestest BFF ever. I love you!" I said and hug her.

"Yea, I know. Now get change so I can do your make-up. We only get 30 min left."

"Sure." I obey and rush to the bathroom to get change. I don't want to upset Alice for her great work.

We planned to meet Rose in my house 5 min before going to the Cullens. If you have seen how Alice drives, you will not be afraid of being late. Alice do my make up as I curl my hair. That is a pretty simple job, so I won't ruined it, that is why Alice allowed me to do it myself.

Rose come early, she go to my bedroom to see how I was doing. I think this is the perfect to tell them my plan; I don't want to upset them if I run without telling them anything.

"Ali, and Rose, I want to tell you guys something." they notice how serious I am and shut their mouth immediately.

"What do you want to say, Bella?" Alice said.

"Last year, during the school anniversary performance, I got to have a chance to become a singer. They offered me to go to L.A. As at that time, I could not leave Forks or more accurately, Edward, so I refused it. But after tonight, if it works out I will call them and leave as soon as possible." I breathe after saying this. I do not dare to look up at them.

I am afraid I will ruined the hard work Alice did me. I know I would cry, I am bad to leave these girls whom I love so much, but I can't stay here seeing Edward and Tanya together happy after.

"Bella" Rose start saying," You do not need to leave, they will not be together soon, trust me. Don't leave, pls ..." Rose beg, it is rare to see Rose begging.

"Sorry, Ali and Rose, I can't do this. Maybe, we are not meant to be together. Or maybe I can find someone better when I am in L.A. Pls trust me when I said I can't do this, I am sorry, I am so sorry." I continue apologizing.

Alice put a finger to my mouth. And I instantly keep quiet. I know they understand. They are the bestest BFF ever. I can't find one in other places like them.

"I will contact you both once I get landed." I said." I will never forget you. You are always in my heart. I will come back a year later and try to send e-mails to you everyday, but pls don't tell anything to Edward or tell me anything from Edward. I will see it myself when I come back."

"Bella, why do you say that as if you are sure that you will leave us? Didn't you said that it depends on Edward? "Rose start sobbing.

"Pls, don't sob. No, pls don't. I have this feeling that I will leave, so pls do me a favor if this really happens, I never wanted it to happen, it wasn't always a happy ending, unlucky me, do it as I say, can you girls, please??" I said, I know things won't go right tonight, so I have to save the last happy memory with them. They are practically family to me.

We went to the Cullens and Emmett and Jasper immediately noticed that their girlfriends had been crying. What a nice boyfriend they got? I hope they would treasure each other. Rose and Alice both give a reassured smile to Jas and Em. The boys finally smile, seeing them like this, I smile too.

Then, Em suddenly look at me. "Bella, you look hot"

I blushed and that Em got a smack from Rose.

"What's it for?" Em yell..

I go to the kitchen to help Esme, and find that Esme is making pasta. That is Edward's and mine favourite. I love it.

"Esme, need my help?' I asked.

"No, thanks, Bella. Go and play." she insist.

She always looks at me as if I am one of her children. I really love her, all of them, but leaving them is inevitable.

Footsteps then come along, it is obviously Edward. I know it since I am a child, that is really ridiculous, knowing everything about him, and yet he doesn't know the most important thing about me.

"Hi, Bella. You've got here." he hugs me. I will miss this hug, for sure.

"Hey, Edward!" I said. He pulls me outside to the lounge.

But then stop and whispered in my ear, "You are hot tonight."

My heart beats fast, I find what he said funny, why he thinks I am hot when he doesn't love me the way I do, it hurts so much. "Thanks," I said with a smile.

The movie begins. I do not really know what it said after watching it. I can't concentrate when knowing I can't see those guys I love for a very long long time. Edward left to fetch Tanya. I think this is the greatest time to tell them. I want Edward to be the last to know, maybe not even face-to-face. I am confused, do not know whether to face him or not.

"Guys, I have something to announce. Esme, Carlisle, can you come inside?" I asked

"What? Bella? You are pregnant?" he earned a smack from Rose.

"What's that for? It is the second time you hit me already." he pout.

"For saying something so fake." Rose said.

"Bella, what do you want to tell us? Don't you want to wait for Edward?" she seem confuse.

"Not this time, he would be the last to know, so please keep it from him for tonight, can you?"

"Okay" she smiled.

"I am serious, pls don't interrupt. I am leaving Forks tomorrow. I have been in love with Edward for years, when he first started dating Tanya; I thought he is just playing. However, he now brings her to see his parents; God knows how he respects you. This means he is settling down on a particular girl. I can't stay here seeing them happily ever after. I have a chance to go to L.A. when I perform in the school anniversary. Now, I am going to try it. I will miss you people. I love you. I will be back a year after, maybe at that time, I will be another person! Who knows what will happen?" I try to pull up my best smile.

Carlisle, Emmett and Jas are trying to be strong for their women. Esme, Alice and Rose are already sobbing. I am sorry to make them like that.

"Bella. Try to hit your goal and become a superstar! " Emmett said in a serious voice, always the big brother whom I love dearly.

I grin, "I will, for sure."

"I think I will go now, I can't stand to be in the same room with them." I said as calm as possible, but my heart is beating, faster and faster, I know I can never see Edward again if I leave now.

"Don't you need to tell Edward too? Or maybe you already did, and he didn't do anything to keep you? How can he? Pretending nothing happens and now fetching his 'dear' girlfriend." Emmett growled.

"He hasn't known yet, and I will phone him tomorrow when I am in the airport. I can't face him and when he said words that will keep me, I won't do that anymore, I have been waiting too long for him to realize. And yet, he didn't."

"Bells, Can I and Rose go with you to the airport tomorrow?" Alice said.

"Yes, Bella, I want to see you the last time." Rose sobs.

"We want too." Jas and Em said in unison. I giggle.

"I think yes, but make up some excuses, I don't want to see Edward, really sorry." I said softly.

"Don't be, he is the main reason why we lose our BFF." Alice said.

"Don't be angry with him, he doesn't know anything. And treat him the same, please." Although I cannot be with him, but he doesn't deserve to be treated like that shit.

"Okay, just for you, Bella. Rose and I will give you your outfit tomorrow morning and then let's head to the airport. You should look stunning."

"Thanks Alice and Rosie, for your last make-up."

I WILL HAVE A NEW START FROM TOMORROW ONWARD. GET OVER HIM IS MY MAIN GOAL.

ISABELLA MARIE SWAN

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**Same as before, sneak peaks will be given to the reviewers. this part can't we go any further? is about to end. But I have already started writing part II. So wait for it! Hope you will still like it**!


	8. Chapter 8 Last Day

**A/N: Here is to tell you that this chapter is the last... one of Can't we any further? ****But, after this, it will be a new beginning. Can't you wait for me? is on its way coming to you...**

**Twilight belongs to SM, do love her!! **

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Chapter Eight

L.A., a place I've heard of but never been to. That would be a great addition to my experiences in my life, though I've live 17 years. This year, I would be a singer, not the clumsy Bella anymore. I don't want people to know me as Isabella Swan, nor Bella. Maybe I will have to change both my first name and last name. Izzy, sometimes people call me that, I think that is cool enough. I will have to get a surname afterwards, I can't use my old one, I don't want people to judge me like a Swan again. I am not that Bella Swan anymore. I will be IZZY from now on.

I get up and go down the stairs. I find Rose and Ali already there. It must be Charlie who let them in.

"Good morning! Girls, this is the last day we will be together before we united again. Pls stay happy and enjoy it." I said.

"Yes, ma'm."

I get the bag Alice is holding. Inside, is a blue tube dress, with a pair of black skinny jeans, 3-inches high heels, and all the other stuff that I need.

"Are you kidding me, 3-inches? I am afraid I would fall and be in the hospital before I am in the airport." I said.

Rose giggles and said, "Bella, you are going to be a star, you should now start practicing wearing high-heels."

I know she is correct, if I were to become a star, I would have to practice from now on. Although I don't want to admit it, but she is really a genius, in clothing.

I go back to my room and get change, but most importantly, I have to write a letter to Edward, I can't face him. Giving a letter to Alice and ask her to give it to Edward will express how I feel, but I will give a phone call to Edward first when I am on the plane.

I find a paper and a pen to start writing. I have been thinking what I should write yesterday night.

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_Dear Edward, _

_By the time you receive my letter, I would be going to L.A. You might be so angry with me that you do not even want to be friends with me anymore. Sorry, I did not tell you before, I cannot face you, and that is why you are the last to know this. _

_You might wonder why I am going to L.A., right. I have been in love with you for years, Edward, if you have not notice that why I was so strange when you are with Tanya. However, probably Tanya does, that is why she was always a bitch to me. I have always thought that you might be just playing around, but when I knew that you are bringing her to see Carlisle and Esme, I knew you are not anymore, you are settling on a particular girl. I cannot stand being there seeing you together happily after. I have to do something, and this is what I think I should do. I have a chance to get to L.A. to become a singer. I have never thought of being one, but after the school anniversary last year, I found that I love singing. I write songs, and sing them. What I sing last year is how I felt for you. _

_I will be back a year after, I hope you have a happy life with Tanya, although it hurts so much. _

_I love you,_

_Bella Swan_

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I come down stairs after grabbing all the stuffs I need to bring to L.A. I get a bag that Edward has gotten me for the 15' b-day for me to travel to Florida to stay with my mom.

I turn around to look at my bedroom again, the place which contains many memory of the Cullens and I, I will not come back a year after. I will really miss them all.

Charlie has agreed to meet me at the airport. Emmett and Jasper will give me a ride.

When we arrive to the airport, I see Charlie, and go to give him a hug.

"Bells, remember to contact me, when you landed. And phone at least once a week. I will miss you." Charlie said. I am a lot alike to him, always can't express myself clearly. So having Charlie saying something like this makes me happy.

"Bella, We will miss you too, phone us or e-mail us everyday." Alice said.

Rose smiled and said," I will not cry, I will send you away with a smile"

"THz, Rose. Love you."

"Izzy Bee, I will miss you so much, not having you will be a great loss to our family. You are always a Cullen, Bella Cullen." Em says.

I smile, but I knew I would never be a real Cullen. "THz"

Jasper gives me a hug. and whispered to my ear," I will miss you too; you are like a sister to me."

"THz, I don't know what to say except Thanks, you all will me a family to me. Alice, can you do me something, before I go .?" I ask. I have to ask someone to give the letter to Edward.

"Sure, what do you want me to do?"

I hand her the letter, she immediately understand, "Edward's, right?"

I nod my head. "Pls hand it to him, but I will give him a phone call when I am on the plane."

"Okay, I'll help you give it to him."

"Fight 4XXX will be leaving in 30 min," it announced.

"I think it's time to go. Goodbye, I'll see you a year after."

I give them all a hug and leave. I can't glance at them one more time, I am afraid, I would break down. I should stay strong, from now on, I would be myself.

Once I am on the plane, I get out my phone, and breathe heavily before dialing that number, calling to the one person whom I want to see but afraid to see.

"Hi" the velvety sound came into my ears,

I response, " Hi, Edward~"

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**Haha, hoep you like this chapter... I 've been working on this for a long long time, cus I dunno much of how to write an ending..**

**As I said, Can't you wait for me? is on its way, it will be a new beginning, EPOV this time. hope you wil still support me.**

**I am thinking of continuing posting the next part in this story(then I will change the title to"Can't") , but what do you think? or should I begin a new story? I am here thanking all of you who have review. I knew my english is extremely poor! **

**And to the anonymous reader, thz for what you've told me. I truely like it and thank you from my heart. but pls, can you tell me exactly which part of my english poor? becoz of the grammar? anyway, thank you!! **


	9. Chapter 9 Introduce Tanya

**Hey guys, that was fantastic, I have finally got a beta... She did help me a lot, her beta skills are really great.**

**Twilight belongs to SM,**

EPOV

I was now driving to Tanya's house to fetch her because I was going to introduce her to my parents, I didn't know how they would react, but I hope that they would be considerable for me, knowing that she would be the one I am spending my whole life with. I know it is kind of weird saying it right now, because I am not those who would marry straight after high school graduation, but I know I would one day.

I had a feeling that something big would happen soon, I didn't know what that was, but there was something. I would have to figure it out, or asked someone to help me, probably Bella, she had always been supportive to me, like this time, and she was the one having the idea for this introduction. I didn't know why Tanya didn't like Bella, or even hated her. She was the most selfless person I've ever seen. Sometimes, she was so good to me that I even thought she was in love with me, that was kind of ridiculous.

When I stopped at Tanya's house, I went up and rang the bell.

"Hi, Eddie. Good evening. I'm so excited to see your parents," she said with her sweet voice.

"Hi, me too" I reply, grabbing her to the car. I can't wait a minute more.

"Eddie, you should know that you have almost messed my hair." she yelled while fixing it.

"Sorry," I have always hated people calling me Eddie, but she insisted that it was kind of cute, so never mind. She and Bells were the only ones who could call me this. Tanya always said that she shouldn't call me like she herself did, but I won't let her in on this, I've known Bella almost my whole life.

When we were back at the house, it was quiet. I felt strange, were they all excited too? Probably not, seeing the reaction of them at school, I was sure this is not about the introduction. Maybe there was something else which I didn't know.

I opened the door and walked in after Tanya before closing it. I saw Alice, she was glaring at me, I wonder why. Then Esme came, "Welcome, Tanya, I assume, I am Mrs. Cullen, but feel free to call me Esme."

"Hi," Tanya snapped. Wow, the first impression is always important, and she had already destroyed it.

Then Carlisle came into view, "I'm Edward's dad, Carlisle." he said smiling.

"Hi," she said walking straight to the lounge.

Wow" I mumbled, that's all I could say.

When I went to where Tanya was sitting, and found that Bella was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is Bells?" I ask, not particularly.

"She left," was the answer, I turned to see whose words were they, and to find Alice glaring at me again, She was always hyper when she talks about Bella, what had happened when I was gone, I asked myself.

"Oh, is she in a hurry?" I asked but my mouth was then captured, Tanya was kissing me. I felt a little bit uneasy, doing it in front of my parents, not that I had never done PDA. The whole group then looked at me with disgust.

"Get a room!" Em said seriously. I've never seen him being like this, like protecting his precious toy car when we were small.

An hour later, I felt that there wasn't a need for Tanya to be here any more. The intro has ended, and which didn't go well.

I drove her back home and went back to mine, and again, it was silence. It was really strange. When I stepped into the house,

Em told me, "Edward, we are all going out tomorrow, so, you probably can do whatever you want to."

Did they just exclude me? But anyway, I needed time to catch up with Bella; I had been spending too much time with Tanya, and forgetting Bells. Tanya said she had something to do tomorrow.

I tried to call Bella immediately when I was up in my bedroom, but no one answered, I wondered what she was doing now. It was strange that I was thinking of Bella, in ways that I should for Tanya. Maybe, I've missed Bella too much. I didn't even remember when was the last time we talked.

I left that undone; I would be heading to Bella's place tomorrow, to give her a surprise, although she hates surprises.

I went to sleep that night, pleased that I could finally hang out with my best friend tomorrow.

-.-

The next day, I woke up and dressed myself before walking down, and only find Esme. Yeah, I remembered, they all had work to do today. I wonder what that was.

"Good morning," I greeted my mother.

"Morning, son," she replied. There was something in her sound, as if she was trying hard to hide something from me, but I let the topic dropped for the moment, I wanted to be with Bella as soon as possible.

I jumped up from the chair, after having my breakfast. I waved my mother goodbye, before walking out the house, or more accurately, skipping out of it.

However, my excitement ended once I saw who was approaching me.

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Hope yoou all like the story, as the same, pls review and you'll get a sneak peak! THose who had been my supporters for a long long time, willg get a longer one, so not hesitate to review every single chapter to let me know you love this story, I hope the grammar skills in this story has improved, thZ, and love you all~ Your reviews lighted my day!


	10. Chapter 10 A Letter From You

****

Twilight belongs to SM... and here is what most of you guys have been waiting all along, the letter...

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**Can't you wait for me?**

**Chapter Ten **

_Previously …_

_I jump up from the chair, after having my breakfast. I waved my mother goodbye, before walking out of the house, or more accurately, skipping out of it. _

_But my excitement ends once I saw someone approaching me._

I immediately knew it was her when I saw the strawberry-blonde hair.

_Tanya..._

I thought she would be at her house helping her mother. Why is she here? Suddenly, I was confused, shouldn't I be happy when I see my girlfriend, this is the norm, but why am I not? Or moreover, I even feel a bit upset.

"Happy, babe? This is a surprise!" _Huh…_

"Yea, surprised me much." I said. I really want her to disappear in the moment.

"Well, I wanna go shopping, so I came to get you. As you are ready, let's go." she said in a commanding tone.

"I am not some slave who will walk when you ask me to walk, and stop when you ask me to stop!" I wanted to say that out loud, but I had to remind myself to keep my mouth shut.

The next thing I knew was that I was in Tanya's car, I don't know how I got in there, but one thing I was sure of is that, _I Don't Want To Go Shopping! I Hate Shopping!_

The shopping hours are something I have never thought I would survive from. I miss Bella, keep wondering where and what she was doing in the past hours. At last, I got rid of Tanya by saying that I have to go home to have my dinner, that mum is waiting, but the truth is that nobody is at home. None of them. I wonder where the hell they are anyway?

I can't even have my dinner, being dragged by Tanya to the mall was the last thing I wanted to do, extremely tired that I could lie down now, and fall asleep till tomorrow morning.

When I was half asleep, my phone buzzed, I wonder who would call me that late. I picked up the cell, and hit the button, don't even bother to see who the caller is.

"Hello?" I said with my "sleepy" voice

The other line was a long silence, at that moment, I would have very much liked to throw the phone out, and get back to my sleep. But then the caller said, "Edward..."

I immediately recognized that voice, the person is who I've thought about the whole day at the mall. "Bella, why are you calling that late? Are you ok?" I asked.

"Relax, man. I have some serious things to tell you. Listen carefully." My sleepiness instantly melted away, and I was now wide awake.

"What do you want to tell me?"

I expected her to talk for hours, but what came out was silence. Complete silence, nothing...

I asked again "Bells, what's wrong?"

"Edward, I am..."she paused again, "leaving…" the main word came out from her mouth, I thought I was having an ear problem, what the hell did she mean she was leaving? I wanted to burst out, but I knew I couldn't, she might be hurt, so I asked, "Why?"

"I can't tell you, you will have to find it out yourself. Get the letter from Alice; I gave it to her before I took off.

I was intrigued of that letter. What will be in there? Anxiety in my heart was growing. Is there anything wrong with Bella?

Luck is soon by my side, I knew I could find the truth. Alice had already come home. I heard the door opening.

I immediately went down to meet the others. But surprisingly, I was met by a cold glare from Rose. A very pissed Alice is soon on her way marching to me.

She handed me an envelope with my name "Edward Cullen" tagged on it. I instantly recognized the handwriting- Bella's. I knew that is what I have been looking forward to reading. But at the same time, I am afraid, of what is in the letter. Should I read it? I asked myself. But I knew I had to read it, no matter when, where, what, and how...

I instantly grabbed the letter and opened it. It read:

_Dear Edward, _

_By the time you receive my letter, I will be going to L.A. You might be so angry with me that you do not even want to be friends with me anymore. Sorry, I did not tell you before hand, I cannot face you, and that is why you are the last to know this. _

_You might wonder why I am going to L.A., right. I have been in love with you for years, Edward, if you have not noticed that why I was so strange when you are with Tanya. However, probably Tanya does, that is why she was always a bitch to me. I have always thought that you might be just playing around, but when I knew that you were bringing her to see Carlisle and Esme, I knew you are not anymore, you are settling on a particular girl. I cannot stand being there seeing you together happily after. I have to do something, and this is what I think I should do. I have a chance to get to L.A. to become a singer. I have never thought of being one, but after the school anniversary last year, I found that I love singing. I write songs, and sing them. What I sang last year is how I felt for you. _

_I will be back soon (maybe a year or so), I hope you have a happy life with Tanya, although it hurts so much._

_I love you,_

_Bella Swan_

I frowned, I asked myself, I don't know. But deep inside my heart, there was happiness.

It was wrong, I told myself. "You have Tanya. Remember it! You are now just amazed that your best friend has been in love with you for so long, no other feelings! You don't love her back, That is it, Edward, don't talk about it anymore."

I tried to calm myself down, telling myself some lies. Did I just say that? They shouldn't be lies! Then were they truths? No, they were not true. Are they?

I know that I was telling myself something that is morally, logically, and literally correct.

Alice blocked my thinking, "You know it now, right?"

They way she said it showed me that she knew it from the very beginning. I seemed to be asking, but it was a statement, a truth, a fact.

"We all knew it." was the answer to my question. How could they? They never told me. It means that Bella has been in love with me all along, how stupid I am, not noticing?

But again, how could they?

"You didn't tell me?" I asked angrily.

"We all can see it in both your eyes; you know what that is, love! That is love. You are in love with each other."

No, no, no! No way is I in love with my best friend - with Bella.

"Stop it! You don't mean it." I told her and stomped away.

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I hope I didn't disappoint you for the letter. I 've tried my best to think about it... Guys, review and get a sneak peek!

Do you think those sneak peek are good? OR should I cut off this offer(offering sneak peeks for reviewer)? Tell me, I need your opinion


	11. Chapter 11 Days without you

**A big thank you to my beta. Love you ya~ **

**A big thank you to you guys for the reviews~**

**A big thank you to SM for letting play around with the Twilight Saga characters~ **

**A big thank you to myself because I didn't want to steal Twilight from SM~ So I do not own anything~**

**Chapter three-Can't you wait for me**

I ran and ran, to nowhere in particular. Step by step, foot by foot, mile by mile, the place I was in, was a surprise to me- the meadow.

It belonged to me and Bella, our hiding place. It's the place where we've been through a lot, our first kiss, our first fight, our first girlfriend or boyfriend. I've always been with her, every minute in our life, I was with her. Had I ever thought she would leave one day? I knew my answer. Never had I thought she would leave me.

Can I face her? After the new confession, could I act like I didn't know and continue a normal life, with Bella in my life? Could she bare to be only my best friend? Would I lose her because of those stupid feelings? Lose my best friend? Forever? I didn't know.

Being in the meadow, calmed me, reassured me, but was I still as normal as I was before everything was revealed? And again the answer was no, I didn't know.

I was too tired to think. It's just that when I woke up I knew that I spent the whole night in the meadow. And that day onwards, everything would change because Bella would seem to disappear in my world.

Soon our holiday was over; we all went back to school. Tanya was not with me in the holiday after that so-called surprise, but not that I cared, I needed time to think, to prepare myself for the next school term.

Classes were usual; everyone seemed to be normal, but I wasn't. My partner in Biology became Mike Newton because of the departure of Bella.

When I came to the cafeteria, different people in different tables, I came to our usual table, everything seemed to be the same. But at the same time not. Something was missing-Bella. Everyone seemed to be happy, at least they were smiling, but I knew they were pretending. They missed her too.

In the past, every day I would go to Bella's house to do homework. The first day was horrible. When I drove back home. I was suddenly in front of her house, but inside was dark because no one was there, Charlie was on his duty. The Earth was moving, but I was not.

Emmett had once teased me that I was acting like some lovesick teen, but we're not lovers, just BFFs. I even scolded him and told him, "I love Tanya"

That day I went home, and the house was so quiet. Usually I would be hugged or get a kiss on the cheek as a greeting and welcome-home, but today it was different. No Esme. Why? Was it me being strange or all my family were too? Anyway, I went inside, it was dark but a beam of light was shining on the wall. I followed the light and stopped in front of Alice's door. Somebody was inside this house.

I went inside to find out that, not somebody, but every single member of my family was in her room. When I went in, she immediately switched off the monitor. I wondered if she was hiding something from me. Was it from Bella? Ha! Everything reminded of her. But did she even think of me?

I went to my bedroom, took a bath and ran down to prepare for dinner. Esme was making pasta- Bella 's favorite and mine too. I don't know why she made this, for Bella or for me? Again, I was frustrated that Bella was in my mind. I shook my head. I couldn't get rid my thoughts about her.

After dinner, we all went to watch TV. Ha, the world is like this, when I don't want to think of her, she always popped out, in whatever way-Bella, now named Izzy.

Yea, I remember that name. It has a story.

When we were small, we all used to call each other nick names that ended with "y", For Emmett, Bella used to call him "Emmy", although he didn't like it, as he though it was too girlie, we still called him that.

For Alice, she loved her own nickname, "Aly", she thought it made her feel like a princess, though I never figured out how so. Bella was called "Belly", but she said that she hadn't one, so don't call her that, we made it up just to tease her, and seeing that she trusted it, we all laughed.

At first, no one cooperated, but later with all the hard work Bella did, our hearts finally give in to it, at last we all called her "Izzy", that was pretty cool.

And for me, they called me "Eddy" (A/N: I know the real spelling is "Eddie", but to cooperate with the story, I have changed a little bit.)

Rosalie "Rosy" and Jasper "Jazzy". Although neither Rosalie nor I liked our nicknames, we were still forced to be called those stupid names... Jasper didn't seem to mind his new nickname at all, as the name started from Alice, and god knows he already had a huge crush on her at that moment.

Then the sound of the television stopped my thinking, "The Hollywood newbie-Izzy Swan is now with us, let's talk with her. Hi, Izzy"

"Hi, nice to meet you", she replied.

"Nice to meet you too. Your new song " You belong with me" is the new hit. Almost a billion of people have watched your musical video on YouTube. What do you think about it?"

"That's pretty nice for you guys to do so. I wrote this song expressing my feelings; those lyrics mean so much to me. I really love it."

I remember that song. She sang it at the School Anniversary last year. Now, I understood the lyrics, it told her feelings for ME. Huh! I am a stupid ass, now, it was exposed to the whole world, it belongs to the public, to anybody.

Before it might have been mine officially. She wrote it for me, but now it will never be again.

Alice suddenly switched off the television. "Why did you switch it off?" I asked.

"Anyway you don't care, why do you want to see Bella?" she snapped

"Who says I don't care," I am going to rip that person' head off.

"You say you don't love her, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did, but I am still her best friend."

"Well, if you can't give her what she wants, better don't see her."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused by her statement.

"What I mean is that, don't see her before she gets over you, what she wants from you is love, and what you can give her is only friendship. It will hurt her badly if you act normal and be her friend, as you know Bella, she will keep all the things in her heart, and inside it, it will be bleeding..."

The idea of Bella getting over me made me angry. How could she just get over me that easily? And again, why did I care so much?

Maybe, I didn't like the idea of Bella. I loved this person and loved another one at the same time. It was never because one of them was me. I convinced myself.

That night, I went back to my room. Searched for that song which originally belonged to me. But it is not NECESSARY for me to search. Just open any website and you can click the song, "YOU BELONG WITH ME"

It was a hit world-wide. I listened to it though I had heard it before, the feelings crushed me; it was nothing like the first time.

Last time on the stage, I just listen to the melody, but now listening to the lyrics, I finally realized how much this mean to her.

You Belong With Me Lyrics

You're on the phone with your girlfriend,

She's upset,

She's going off about

Something that you said,

'Cause she doesn't get your humor

Like I do.

I'm in my room,

It's a typical Tuesday night,

I'm listenin' to the kind of music she doesn't like,

And she'll never know your story

Like I do.

But she wears short skirts,

I wear t-shirts.

She's cheer captain and

I'm on the bleachers,

Dreamin' 'bout the day

When you wake up and find

That what you're looking for

Has been here the whole time.

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you,

Been here all along so why can't you see,

You belong with me.

You belong with me.

Walkin' the streets with you

and your worn-out jeans,

I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be,

Laughing on a park bench Thinking to myself,

"Hey isn't this easy"

And you've got a smile that

Could light up this whole town,

I haven't seen it in a while

Since she brought you down.

You say you're fine,

I know you better than that.

Hey, whatcha doin' with a girl like that?

She wears high heels,

I wear sneakers.

She's cheer captain and

I'm on the bleachers,

Dreamin' 'bout the day

When you wake up and find

That what you're looking for

Has been here the whole time.

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you.

Been here all along so why can't you see

You belong with me?

Standing by,

Waiting at your back door,

All this time how could you not know

Baby, you belong with me

You belong with me.

Oh, I remember you driving to my house

In the middle of the night.

I'm the one who makes you laugh

When you know you're 'bout to cry.

And I know your favorite songs,

And you tell me 'bout your dreams.

Think I know where you belong,

Think i know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you,

Been here all along so why can't you see,

You belong with me.

Standing by,

Waiting at your back door,

All this time how could you not know

Baby, you belong with me.

You belong with me.

You belong with me.

Have you ever thought just maybe,

You belong with me?

You belong with me.

I now thought that I was really stubborn and stupid in the past.

* * *

This song is Taylor Swift "You belong with me", this song belongs to TS. I am just fooling around. Follow me to twitter~ can you? Teasers will be given to reviewrs, hope you guys like it :)


	12. Chapter 12 Recovering Edward

**II Can't you wait for me? ****Chapter Four**

**EPOV**

2 months had passed, sometimes, I knew I would heal one day, but sometimes I couldn't trust myself.

It felt like I was mopping around, somehow like a zombie without a soul. In the last few weeks, I couldn't sleep, eat, talk or even walk properly.

I felt like some part of me was missing. I couldn't feel whole. Alice and the others insisted that it was because Bella was my meant-to-be.

At school putting on a happy mask was exhausting, smiling when I was unhappy, real feelings can't be expressed. I felt like I was a bird kept in a cage, with no freedom.

These 2 months weren't easy to last. You could listen to her name, or more exactly, "Izzy" in school, the street, or at home when the television was switched on.

She was now one of the most popular teen idol, her new song, could be heard everywhere. Her new album would be released next month, that's why she was always on newspapers, websites, etc...

You might be curious on how I knew so many things about her when I didn't want to think about her, right? My sister, friends, and the whole school had been reporting all the news about her so that you couldn't have a minute without her name around. That was fucking pathetic.

Another big news at school was that there was a rumor that said Tanya was cheating behind my back. I wanted to tell them that Edward Cullen couldn't be cheated. But guess what? Bella cheated me.

Lessons kept on going, days passed by, weeks went on...

When lunch break was almost over one day, the jerk Tyler Crowley came up to me telling me that, "You now what, Tanya was a bitch, she was cheating on you, stupid. You don't know whom she had had sex with while you two were dating. Idiot."

At that moment, I couldn't think, before I knew what was happening, my fist was already on Crowley's face, punching him with all the force I had in my body. He deserved it.

No one cheated on me, I wanted to tell him, them, the whole fucking town, but I didn't want to be laughed at, because I have been cheated once... Bella.

People thought that I was protecting Tanya, I didn't really care, let them think I was the good guy, the protective boyfriend that everyone wanted. But later on, I would know that this was all stupid.

I had made up my mind to have a date with Tanya. God knows how long we haven't hung out together. But in some way, I felt I was hiding behind something, or someone. I felt like cheating on someone. This feeling filled up my whole body, mind and soul for a whole long day. I was glad that I saw Tanya at the end of the school before I changed my mind.

"Hey, do you think we can hang out this coming afternoon?" I asked with reluctance as I wasn't used to asking girls out, every time Tanya asked me.

"Honey, I am so sorry. I don't think so. it is not possible this afternoon. You know my grandma's sister's husband's cousin's niece is sick. I have to take care of her later. so you know.. Maybe next week?"

"Ok, Sur...Sure Yea, of course, family should always come first. Yea, maybe next week, I'll let you know. Bye"

I couldn't help but find my self dumbfounded, yet I was quite shocked that sentences could be formed from my mouth. I wonder whether Tanya was really so filial. I've known her for quite some years, but I haven't known there was this side of her. I just hope from her heart she wasn't lying to me.

However, you have to know that whenever you do something for others, never ask for repay.

How is this saying going to meet the situation right now?

Yeah, when I was so understanding, she won't ever be... I remember once...

_Flashback:_

_I was on the phone with Tanya..._

_"Tanya, I cannot come this afternoon."_

_"Because of that chick? How many times have you dumped me because of her?" Only this time, I wanted to tell her. _

_"You know she is my bff, and now she is sick. I have to ... take care of her..."_

_"Is she your girlfriend? I think I am yours. Does she have anyone to take care of her? Parents or boyfriend though I don't think she will ever have one." she muttered the last part, thinking that I couldn't hear._

_"Hey, don't talk like that anymore, she is not a trash like you think she is. Her parents are in England, with my parents, and her boyfriend is on vacation in Canada."_

_"Yea, probably cheating on her." she muttered. "So you mean you have the whole house to yourself?" What is that girl made of? She had been trying to drag me to bed for god knows how long._

_"Tanya, we are not focusing on that now." I said_

_"Yea, bye," she hung up._

Whether there is Tanya or not, tonight I have to go out-must and needed- because I had been mopping around for I don't know how many weeks. I have to go out and do something that the old Edward would have done; sulking like a baby won't make Bella come back. I had to man up. Whatever happened has happened already.

So now, I better make some arrangements with jasper before he was occupied tonight.

"Hey, Jasper" I phoned him.

"Hey. What's up?"

"Do you have any plans tonight?" I asked.

"I don't know. I haven't planned anything yet."

"Let's go to the new club that is in the Main Street"

"You mean the'21's Century'?"

"That's the name? You've been there?"

"Nah, I just heard it in the changing room after the practice."

"So..., what do you think? Are you going?"

"I'll go and ask Alice first, and see if Em, and Rose will join us too."

"Later."

I had to give myself some space right now. I had to start to live without her, so let me start to relax. Breathe, Edward.

I knew that I couldn't live without Bella, no matter what she means to me which I haven't figured out yet. She had to be in my life, containing some place of my heart.

However, at this period of time with Bella shutting herself out of my life would probably be hell for me. I couldn't keep myself as happy as before, because I knew wherever Bella was, wherever my happiness was. She will always come with my happiness.

When she came back, what would I want her to see? I always asked myself this question, and yet, the answer would always pop into my head quickly and vanish quickly, because the answer was to be a happy Edward, not to make her worry.

But was this really possible? I wanted this and yet it was a hard mission for me to complete. How could I be happy when I knew my one way happiness was not with me?

I knew missions were always made to be completed, rules-those from my heart, for me to think and follow-are always made to be broken.

So, I had to complete this mission and at the same time to break my own rule, there is always happiness somewhere, though they may not be the most happiness.

With this new found realization, I started to dress-according its way-skinny jeans, with a jacket outside a simple T-shirt.

Fortunately, I got a call from Jasper, telling me that the 4 of them are going. It means that I don't have to be a lonely guy tonight. It's good to have all my friends back.

Emmett called to tell me that we were all going to ride his Jeep and he would be here in a minute.

I wondered why Alice didn't need to be dropped by too come home to change. I made a mental note to remind myself to get the answer.

We headed out of the Jeep and went straight inside the club. It wasn't too late, but there were many customers already; mostly teenager boys.

I wondered whether there was some special event going on tonight.

"Hey, pretty boy, there. I haven't seen you here before. Right?" a girl called out, using what she thought was a seductive voice.

"Hi", I said, trying my best to be polite, I didn't want to be disliked after being here for the first time, I walked past her as soon as possible to catch up with the group.

After getting a seat, we ordered our drinks. I went to the toilet after grabbing my Bailey.

While I was walking to them, I heard someone, probably a teenager, saying something that caught my attention.

"Hey, you know that tonight the new drink, Izzy Swan- is in the bar for free, and her new song-7things- will be tonight's theme song.

"Fuck, I totally forgot that, I've ordered 'Lady Gaga' already". This voice, where had I heard it before? It was so familiar.

"Never mind, a few more shots won't kill."

"Sure, just make sure I didn't drive tonight, or I'll be staying with the Chief Swan after drinking his daughter."

Not many of them knew that Bella was Izzy Swan, and was Charlie's daughter, that guy must be someone who's from Forks. So I tilted my head to see none other than Mike Newton.

Oh, this is why the club didn't seem like a club; because tonight was for Izzy Swan. I never heard there were some clubs like this, had drinks for stars, that's interesting.

I will have to give a try to 'Izzy Swan' tonight. I wonder what the feeling was drinking my best friend.

About half an hour later, I went to the bar to grab 'Izzy Swan', it was not alcoholic, tasted sweet at first, but when it went through the throat, it was too bitter for my liking.

The club was then dark in color, a spotlight on the club's owner, Gianna. "Tonight, as you all know, is given to our new young star, Izzy Swan. Therefore, all 'Izzy Swan' drinks are free for charge, and at the same time, her new song -7 things- and the previous one -you belong with me- will be our theme song tonight. Now, please enjoy your night."

Then some melody flowed into my ears, this was a faster song, compared to the previous one, it was more suitable for partying. **(A/N: I've changed some lyrics, as not all of them are suitable, I know they are not good, but I have tried my best:D)**

_I probably shouldn't say this_

_But at times I get so scared_

_When I think about the previous_

_The friendship that we shared_

_It was awesome but we lost it_

_It's not possible for me not to care_

_And now I'm standing in the pain_

_But nothing's ever gonna change_

_Until you hear, my dear_

I wanted to tell her, "I heard you, dear. Please come back to me, stop hurting yourself. Our friendship hasn't ended. It is still here, with us."

_Your friends, they're jerks_

_When you act like them, just know it hurts_

_I wanna be with the one I know_

_And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do_

_You make me love you_

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..."

_It's awkward and silent_

_As I wait for you to say_

_What I need to hear now_

_Your sincere apology_

_When you mean it, I'll believe it_

_If you text it, I'll delete it_

_Let's be clear_

_Oh, I'm not coming yet... _

_You're taking time to think dear._

"I hope what you are writing are your true feelings, which means there will still be a chance for you to forgive me..."

**A/N: So here is chapter four. I am a bit disapoointed that there is only 2 reviews for last chapter, just hope I will get more this time:) **

**The song is from Miley Cyrus' "7thingS" I've changed some lyrics, but I think you know that already... v **

**REMINDER : Reviews= teasers! **

_Edward is waiting for your support, _

_he is trying his best, _

_pls also try you best to help him by reviewing 3!_


	13. Chapter 13 Free Edward

**Well, really sorry for the long delay, guys... I've been to Thailand, you know, I used the wi-fi there, and now when I come back, my nationality on my profile has automatically changed to Thailand, while I am a Chinese. Do you know what I could do to change it back? Tell me if you know! **

**Big thanks to my beta: sahaj, whose FF pename is MyLifeIsEdwardCullen! BTW, Twilight belongs to SM!**

Can't you wait for me? Chapter 5

EPOV

That song-7 things- I couldn't have believed how many times I've listened to it. It was everywhere in my live. However, this time it wasn't forced or because of Bella's fame, that it was everywhere, this time I finally enjoyed that, though every time, I listened to that, every time, I had different feelings. When I was sad, I listened to it. It seemed to have a magic that could comfort me. When I was happy, I listened to it, it seemed like someone was there to share my happiness. I couldn't express how I felt for this song, or moreover, its songwriter-Izzy Swan-; my best friend-Bella Swan. I'd put it in my car; My i-pod; my CD reader at home; my computer. Wherever I could.

At this moment, I was searching Bella's news. I was now a huge fan of my best friend. I knew this was a little bit ironic; but this is how I felt. Alice and Rose would always inform me of what Bella was doing after they got her phone call. I knew she wasn't ready to face me yet, so as a best friend, I had to give her time and space.

No one was at home. Alice and Rose went shopping. Alice's got 5 wardrobes and Rose has got 2 here, not counting the ones she had at her own home. I just didn't understand why they had to have so many clothes. When I asked them, they would tell me "That's called fashion, you know? But no, you don't, because you have no fashion sense." What I wore everyday to school was chosen by Aly. So that didn't really matter how much fashion sense I've got. And she'd always be a pixie if I didn't follow her instructions on clothing. Annoying Alice, but most of the time, it was good because I didn't have to think what I should wear the next day, it made me look good, so why not?

Jasper and Emmett were football players. They've got practice every Tuesday and Thursday. I didn't have too much interest in football, so I joined basketball instead of football with them.

Esme joined the Plantation Association. She was there every Tuesday. I knew she felt sad that Bella had left, she loved her like a daughter. She thought of her every time she was alone. I felt sorry for her.

There are 7 things I hate about you...

I was in Bella's official website. Let me see, oh her CD will be released next week, but which day? OMG! I almost forgot that, what a huge fan was I? I will have to check on her news soon, to know which day it's official selling. Although I knew Aly and Rosy would buy one, but I wanted one that only belonged to me. I'd have to wait for another week when no one is at home. I didn't want anyone to know about this. I wanted to surprise Bella, to let her know I treasured her.

I switched off the computer, and then my phone rang. What good timing, the caller ID said it was Alice. She didn't usually call when she was shopping. She said not to disturb her.

I immediately open the phone and put it near to my ear. "Hey, Aly. What's the matter?" I asked.

" Come, immediately, as fast as you can, Call me when you are almost here"

"I'll be there in a few" I said urgently. That is my baby sister; I couldn't let anything happen to her.

I jumped off the stairs and ran to my car. I turned the engine to life and span off the road.

I was at 100 km/h, while the bridge's maximum speed was only 80km/h. However, I couldn't mind anything at this moment. If I was being caught, I would explain to Charlie myself later on. At this moment, my sister's safety was the most important.

When I was only half a mile away from the mall, I dialed Alice's phone. After 3 beeps, she picked up the phone.

"Tell me what is happening." I demanded.

"Get your butt up to the 3rd floor immediately." Alice said in a voice that I couldn't figure out her feelings. That made me scared.

I ran into the shopping mall, searched for the elevator. I was running past people, apologizing, and hearing people cursing me at the same time.

I instantly spotted Alice when I was on the third floor. There she was. But where was Rose? At least now I was a little bit calmer, nothing bad was happening to Alice. She was not in danger, but was Rose in danger? Or did she not come? I was not really so afraid for Rose, I knew that girl could protect herself well. I knew that Rose would call me herself if she really needed help.

I walked slowly to them, trying to get my breath back.

"What's happening? You know I almost got a heart attack when I got your phone call. Where is Rose?" I half-yelled at Alice.

"I'm sorry. But now is not the time to say this. Follow me. Rose is there watching what we are going to show you."

I didn't know what she was going to tell me, or show me." What is that you are showing me? Tell me, Alice"

"Wait a minute," she dialed someone." Anyway you'll see it yourself. If we told you, you'll just run away and say we are lying."

"What do you..." what I was going to say was then cut.

"Rose, where are you now?" Alice asked.

I thought Rose was giving her directions because Alice was now gripping my hand and dragging me to places that I didn't know.

We finally saw Rose and she make a sound and a voice "Sh... Sh..." asking us to keep quiet. I was thinking if they were showing me something about Bella, because what they tell me was really... with Bella's situation. However, Bella couldn't be in Port Angeles. She was in LA the last time I checked- which was just an hour ago- she couldn't be here so fast.

But this was not the answer; however I didn't need to guess anymore, I saw it. It was right in front of my eyes.

Tanya...

She was grabbing Felix's hand and kissing him.

I was angry, furious, not because she was cheating behind me, is because I was not told again. I knew some of my family members must have known this before. Why didn't they tell me? Isn't this what family should do? I would have to deal with them later.

Right now, I had a bigger thing or problem waiting for me to complete. It felt so hard, but at the same time, it felt so right.

Was I supposed to walk in on them, and asked for a why? Should I? Or just tell her we couldn't be together anymore, as if that I didn't know any of this? What should I do?

"What are you doing here? Brother, shouldn't you be there asking for a break up?" Alice's voice pulled me out from my own thoughts"

Yes, I am going to do that. I couldn't and SHOULD NOT be a nice gentleman to her, that bitch anymore, she didn't deserve any respect from any man.

I ran pass my sisters, and ran behind of that slut and jerk. She had to know she had done was terrible.

"Tanya" I pretended to be cold and calm.

She turned back, horror written on her face, and immediately loosened her grip on Felix's hand.

She ran to me. "Edward, it's not what you think. He is my cou...cousin. Yes, my cousin," eying Felix carefully, afraid that he would say a word.

Who would have thought Tanya could lie so smoothly and who would have thought Felix wouldn't give into her little speech?

"What, I am your cousin? Cullen, tell me, did you fuck your own cousin? Is it the 18th century that you are marrying your own cousin?"

"Nah~" I was trying to hide my laughter; to speak in a stern voice.

"Anyway" I spoke, I am not going to wait for them anymore, they play their game, I played mine. "We are over, Tanya. Don't call me or text me anymore. Okay?"

"Bye", I said waving my hand after turning around and walking off.

"Please, Edward. Don't break up with me. Please. I am so sorry, this is my first time, I won't do it anymore."

"I am sure this is not your first time, Tyler told me, and you know that? I trust him now. I know he was not lying. You are, bitch. Of course, there won't be anymore, because we are over. I'll say it again, WE ARE OVER"

I walked off and saw Alice and Rose eavesdropping. They must have seen the whole scene then.

"I am going home, are you joining me?" I asked.

"Well, we are almost done; just let me check something before we head out, okay?"

"Ok, I'll meet you guys in the car. Don't be too long. After 15 minutes, I will go."

"Sure, big bro."

"Later."

"See ya."

I walk off to the parking lot, and to my car.

Today was a long day...

Surprisingly, they could catch up with me. What they meant by joining me, didn't really mean they were taking my car home, it only meant they put all their shopping in my car, and take their own car home. Well, who wouldn't want to have a big brother like me?

Suddenly, my phone rang. It wasn't a call, it was a reminder.

It said: Aly b-day next week. 18-March

OMG! I have totally forgotten that! What a good big brother I am then? I will have to use the whole week to think of a birthday present; maybe I could buy it when I buy Bella's CD. I just hoped the CD was available in the store on that day. I will have to discuss with my family, in order not to get things double, though I knew Alice won't mind at all.

I drove into the familiar driveway, and stopped in front of our house. Well, seemed like Charlie was at our house.

"Mom" I said, "I'm home."

"Hey, son, how's your day?" my mom asked, she always asked that me since I was in kindergarten.

"Same old, same old" I said, wanting to hide the fact that Tanya and I had broken up. I was not unhappy, because I actually felt relieved, but I didn't want them to know yet, but it is not always easy.

"What, you mean that you have broken up with up with Tanya, was some "same old, same old" shit?" Alice's voice was at my back.

"Language, Alice." Esme yelled from the kitchen.

"Sorry, mom."

"Hey" I said, "not yet." but as it was already spilled, hiding it didn't help anything. So I would just have to tell the truth.

"Well, Alice and Rose asked me to meet them at the mall, in order to show me Tanya was cheating behind my back, then I ran to her, asked for a breakup. The end of the story." I said with no emotion.

"Finally" Emmett exclaimed "and good job, brother." he gave me a thumb up.

I was happy that at least my parents approved of my actions. I was always raised like a gentleman, taught never to hurt women, but today I'd done that, hurting my ex-girlfriend, though she did deserved it. I knew they were upset last time I hurt Bella mentally, although they didn't tell me. Actions always speak louder than words.

I realized that when they didn't tell me, and let me realized it myself, I would have believed them. However, if they just told me, I would have thought that they are lying. Therefore, why not let me see the truth by myself?

**As usual, Reviews mean teasers, do not hestitate, readers! Just press the green button below**


	14. Chapter 14 Alice's birthday

**here it is. I finally have time to update. I never thought that I couldn't update for 2 months. I knew I was bad. So this one is the longest chpater I have ever written, I hope you liked it. I have put so much effort, you know? Twilight belongs to SM, but if Ican have them, I will.**

**Warning: Guys, this chapter is not beta-ed. My beta has some personal reason. I tried my best with my grammar. Ihope you can like it and loved it.**

Can't you wait for me? Chapter Six

EPOV

I've been busy preparing for Aly's birthday present these days. I haven't thought of anything yet, but the day was really soon, so I better got some ideas before the day came.

I had to talk to the others. I didn't know what they were planning, were they letting Alice and Jasper have the celebration to them? But I didn't think mum and dad would give in to this. As they said that birthday were always for family.

I've checked the exact date of the release of the CD. It was the day before Aly's birthday, Bella said it was dicated to a special friend, it must have been Aly. There wouldn't be such a big coincidence on the Earth.

I have been wondering whether I could buy Bella's disc for her birthday, but I was afraid Bella would give it to her as the present, or Alice would buy it herself, or the others had had the same thought as I. There were too many chances to have the same birthday present. Should I risk it?

Anyway, we should have a family meeting, this is what we do for everyone's birthday, but sure keeping the birthday person at the dark, sure they know about this Cullen's tradition, but they would still pretend they didn't know if they do. Except once, Emmett got into the meeting when it was his birthday, practical Emmett.

I dialed Jasper, because I didn't want to dial Emmett or Rose, the first one was a complete child sometimes, and the second one was a bitch when she was in bad mood, I didn't want to be a victim, if she was PMS-ing today.

After three rings, Jas picked up his phone, "Dude, what is the matter?"

"You remember what day is this Thursday?"

"Of course, buddy. My girl/your sister's birthday. Of course I remember. "

"Well, I know, I know... Just making sure. When are we having the meeting?"

"I don't know, you have to ask Esme or Carlisle. They are usually the ones who set the date. Don't you remember?"

"Yea, just thought you know. I'll ask mum then. Bye"

He hung up, not before saying a goodbye. "Asshole," I muttered.

I went downstairs to find mum, but she wasn't there, surprisingly it was Carlisle in the living room,

"Hey, Dad, where is mum?"

"She went grocery shopping, you find her?"

"Yea, but I'll ask you instead. When is the birthday meeting?" I tried to lower my voice.

"Your sister is not at home. She is with Rose, shopping again, I think."

"Oh, shopping again... back to the topic, have you set the date yet?"

"Yes, tomorrow night. I had just informed Jas and Emmett before you came down. I am sure Em will then inform Rose."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Sure it is," I said.

.

The weather was so humid, the air was moist. Everything I touched was wet. When the dark has finally covered the whole sky, I knew that Night came.

Emmett and Rose have come early to help prepare the dinner, while Jasper was still in the mall waiting to escape from Alice. Yea, my little pixie sister is out in the mall shopping again. She has shopped more than once this week. Girls are always girls, who love shopping extremely, except my Bella.

Did I just say that again? My... my Bella, this had come to my mind many times, after she left... more often after Tanya and I officially broke up. It felt so right, the feeling was good, that she was mi... mine, not others.

Then something clicked in my mind, should I feel this for my best friend, was this appropriate? Would others think this is wrong? That I shouldn't have thought like that for my best friend? But she felt this for me, she said it in the letter that she loved me, has been in love with me for years. Was love between best friends appropriate in this world.

But before I could think of anything more, there was a knock on the door, Esme.

"Come downstairs, dear. Everyone is here." she said with a smile on her face.

"I'll be down in a min." I replied. Did I say anything out loud? How long has she been here? I wondered

I switched off the computer and lights before I walked down the stairs.

"Hey guys" I greeted them.

"Hi~" "hey" "Hi, Edward", they greeted me back.

"So," I said as I pulled out a chair "What do we have for tonight?"

"We are having Chicken Fra Diavolo for dinner tonight" I turned to the speaker, surprised to find that it was Rose that was speaking; the girl who wouldn't touch the kitchen unless necessary was telling me what our dish tonight was. The one who usually eat without doing anything, never knowing what was happening before dinner started.

"Wow, are you really Rosie? Have you captured Rose's body without her permission? Who are you, devil?"

"Yes, I've been captured, Edward, help me!" she said then change her tone "Don't be silly, boy. I just help your mom for dinner tonight."

"That's the point, the usual Rose won't do anything like that, and she won't even touch the kitchen."

"I'm practicing," she said while sending glares at me. Why is she practicing? What for? I sent her a questioning look.

"Don't have to guess, I am telling you- Alice's birthday present, I am cooking."

"Wow" that was nice, I had to say, although Rose was a bitch sometimes, she was a nice girl, I smiled, she loved my sister, like I loved her, "That was so good of you. How did you get that idea?"

"Try it, and then I am sure you can guess it."

"OK," I said eagerly waiting for Esme to put the dish on the table.

After a while, all the dishes were put onto our respective plate. I took a spoon of the dish. The taste, it was delicious of course, but most importantly, I was sure I have tasted it before, somewhere... It almost tasted like heaven, but there is still something missing.

I couldn't figure it out at first, so I took another taste. The eyes of all my family members were locked at me, watching my reaction. Then I knew the answer, the only thing that could make me feel like this was Bella. Bella's Chicken Fra Diavolo was the best dish in the world, nothing could compare to it. I smiled. Bella... how could I not remember her? Was this the way she was giving Alice her birthday present? I wondered.

"I think I knew the answer," I said with a smile on my face.

"You know, you sure?" Rose asked with a smirk.

"Sure, the only answer is Bella. There is no way I could forget it." I said.

"Yea, she sent me the recipe last night to tell me to ask someone to try to make it for Alice's birthday, because she said she couldn't think of anything to give her, and at the same time, I couldn't think of anything yet, so I offer to help, by the way, that girl don't trusted me a bit, she insisted to ask Esme to help..." Rose said frustratingly.

I chuckled, that was my Bella. My Bella, Ugh, now I was frustrated with myself. But I used 100 times my force to push that thought away from my mind at the meanwhile. Tonight was for Alice.

We had our dinner with Emmett making jokes and we, ending with laughter.

The meeting finally started after the long wait, I really wanted to know if anyone was planning on buying the CD, and was Alice planning on doing so?

We get up from our seat and walk into the living room where I talked with Dad earlier.

"So" Carlisle started, "what are you guys planning on buying?"

"I've already told you guys what I am preparing." Rose stated.

"I'm planning on buying Alice a promise ring." Jasper admitted. You can see his face turning crimson. He received many "Wow' from our family.

"Wow, there is incredible. Alice sure would love it." Esme said. My parents are very open-minded

"Thanks for supporting," Jas said. I wondered if I will be supported if there was a day that I but the promise ring for my true love. But would I ever find one?

"Well, I haven't thought of anything yet... maybe the new camera that I saw on the magazine last week. I saw that Alice has held an interest for photography lately. I think the model is EOS Rebel... something. I forgot, I'll check on it after."

Then I found that what I was thinking of buying was so cheap, and it couldn't compare to any of their presents. Before I could think of anything to replace the disc, Esme asked me, "What are you planning?"

"Bella's new album", I blurted it out. OH, god, now I couldn't changed anything, then I continued, "I know that is nothing compare to all your present, yours are all so ..."

"Dear, yours contains more sincerity than ours do. Bella is yours and Alice's best friend. It will mean so much to her if she get something that contains a memory for her long-distance best friend." she assured me while patting me on the back.

"Thanks Mom, so what are you and Dad, planning?" I was trying to change the subject, the room seemed to be also upset for my sudden sadness just now, I felt the need to cheer them all up, and this week was for celebration, for happiness.

"Well, speaking of the plan... I wanted this year to be more special. Bella isn't here this year," my heart suddenly give a leap, yea, she wasn't here, "so I don't think Alice would want to celebrate it too big, so sure there won't be a party. We are either going out for dinner, or I'll prepare you, kids dinner. Another part of the night, you, kids enjoy your night, Carlisle and I will leave it to you with the credit card, just be sure that you have to come back before midnight, because it is a school day."

"Yahoo, Mum, are you certain that we can go out and enjoy our night? It is a school day for god's sake." Emmett inquired, you could see his face, liked a boy that is going to open his Christmas present soon.

"In other words are you saying that I've lost my mind", she locked her eyes with Em and then continued, "that I have to go to an asylum because I have become insane?"

"No, mum, I didn't mean that," Emmett quickly responded. Who knew whether Mum would change her mind?

"So what do you guys think? Are you going out or staying here for dinner?"

"I think we better eat outside, to show that we care about this event. At the same time, we can save the time we use on the road to give us more time on another part of the night,"

"That's a good idea, Rose" I said, "Do you think we can reserve a restaurant that is near the place we are going on the other part of the night? By the way, my baby sister likes Italian food."

"That will even save more time, Italian food is good. Where do you think we can go? Movies? Karaoke?" Jasper finally asked the question that has been in my head after Esme dropped the bomb-that we can go out on a school night!

"Your suggestions are good. Do you guys know any places you can book a room where you can watch movies, sing; I mean karaoke, and some shots that we can drink?"

"Don't get drunk, you guys will get a hangover, you still have school the other day." Carlisle warned us.

"Yes, sir." Jas and Rose muttered when Em and I muttered "Okay, Dad," and we continued our conversation.

"We can check the internet and I'll ask some friends of mine," Rose added while flipping through the cooking book she had in her hand.

"Now, things were almost settled, you guys will have to reserve a table for 7 in any Italian restaurant that you find and do your own research on the part that you kids have to yourself." Carlisle added at the end of the meeting.

It took us an hour on settling this. Wow, we all had to buy Alice's birthday present soon which means that I would have to set a trip to the shopping mall once before Thursday. Well, today was Monday, I checked my mobile. Then I would go tomorrow after school.

.

The next day, as usual, I woke up, stay in bed for some time, and got up to get ready for school.

I felt surprise when I heard the lunch bell, time seemed to strip fast today, because I usually looked at the minute hand on the clock and saw that it was running so slow, like a snail. Those time, especially Biology class, I wished I could go out, not stuck in that boring classroom, when Bella wasn't there, fun wasn't there. It hurt me to know that I had to pass time like this.

I walked down to the cafeteria. All the others except Alice have already sat there. She must have known that we needed time to discuss, so she was trying to be a little bit late. Now, that means it was just me missing, well, one more, my Bella... again, but I didn't want to deal with my own thinking and emotions at this moment.

"Hey, guys." I pulled out my chair and popped down," what are you discussing?" I asked.

"Emmett and I've researched for this Italian restaurant that is near a place like I've said that has movies, karaoke, and some drinks that we can order. It's somewhere near Port Angeles. Edward, mark, down the phone number I'm giving you" she said as I pulled out my phone and getting ready to press the number, "360-XXXX, and remember the table is for 7 people. Try to reserve for a table that is in a quieter area, we don't want to be disturbed or vice versa."

"Okay," I replied, putting my phone back to my pocket.

I would do the job later tonight after I've gone shopping. I reminded myself.

.

Classes ended slowly as usual, I went to my car and speed off, I didn't have to drive any of my family back home as I've told them I would go grab Alice's present after school.

I went down the highway to the only shopping mall nearby. The music store was at the 2nd floor, where I spend quite many of my time there when I need to buy some new disc. I like many of them, and it was really hard to left out any of them, so at last I would usually brought a box of CD every time I came down.

As a matter of fact, I was quite familiar with the boss, Riley. He was not some old man in his fifties. He was surprisingly a twenty year old handsome guy. When I mean handsome, I really mean it, it's not like I was gay, but as a male, I think he really had good looks. He has opened the CD store 3 years ago on his own. He loved music like me, and as our age are really close, we became great friends. We talked for hours every time I went there.

Luckily, I didn't have any homework today, so I didn't have to check my watch every 5 min, to hurry to get back home.

I went in the store and was greeted by the boss that I have just thought about. "Hey, Ril" I said.

"Wow, buddy, long time no see? What brings you here?" he asked.

"Well, I am getting a copy for Alice's birthday present and another copy for myself." I've once brought Alice to this shop, after a walk inside the store, Riley and Alice has become fast friend. They exchanged e-mails and phone numbers, and I thought they still meet up some time to catch up.

"Wow, which CD makes you so intrigue? 2 copies? You can have just borrow your sister's." he said with a tone that showed "wow" without actually saying it.

"You know the new teen idol, Bel..Iz...Be. Izzy Swan?" I asked, hesitant wether I should say Bella or Izzy.

"Of course, I've listened to that, you can also see that she has great potential, right?" he asked.

"Well, I am sure as hell she has potential. She was great when she first started to sing." I said, remembering the first time I actually heard Bella sang, we were about 15 years old, I knew she had learned guitar for quite some time, but I never thought she could actually sing, not counting it was so beautiful, her voice.

"You talked like you have known her forever." Riley stated.

"I do, but I won't tell you why."I said playfully.

"Well, is that girl your lover?" he asked, but then he frown," but isn't your girl called Ta... Tan..."

"Tanya," I answered, "that's my ex, just broke up a week ago." I said.

"Why? Don't tell me if you don't want to." he put his hands up.

"Nah, it's okay, not some big secrets. She cheated behind my back." I stated.

'Poor boy, but that's high school, without a broken heart, it won't be high school." he said, trying to reassure me.

"I'm fine, I don't feel broken at all, to be honest, I feel relax." I admitted.

"Well, that was..." he was lost at words for sure, "that only means you don't love her, and there is another girl in your heart."

I swallowed hard at his words. Was that true, that I have not ever loved Tanya? And there was another person in my heart? Who would that be then? I couldn't talk and think at that moment. There was something that I finally understood why I didn't feel broken at all after the break up; there was someone else in my heart.

Riley raised his brows as if to ask me to say something, I had to blink three times before I could compose myself, "I don't know, maybe." is the only answer I could give him.

"Okay, I see that you won't tell me who you are to Izzy Swan, then I think this is the end of our conversation today, I will give you the 2 CD, come with me"

"Are you angry?" I asked.

"Nah, don't be stupid, I've got a date tonight." he answered sweetly.

"Who's the lucky girl?"

"A best friend of mine but now a lover." Best friend? Is that really possible?

"A best friend? Don't you think it would ruin your friendship if there is something wrong in your relationship.

"Nah, don't think things in a negative way, what if you miss the chance to be with her? And you will regret forever."

"Well, I won't use your time anymore, give me the 2 CD, and I will let you prepare yourself for your date."

"Here you are." I handed him the money while he handed me my purchase. "Thz."

"You're welcome. See you."

"Soon." I told him, and went to grab my own car.

.

Today seemed to be a good day. The light shine through the window when I woke up-it's sunny!- I blinked a few times and look at the calender on the wall. Today was finally Thursday, Alice's birthday.

I got up, and brushed through Esme when I went to the washroom.

"Good morning, dear." she said.

"Morning. Mom," giving her a kiss on the cheek.

I brushed my teeth, and when back to my room, Alice's already place my outfit on my bed. She always woke up early, and went to Emmett and my room to give us our outfit when we brushed our teeth. She was a good sister, my baby sister.

Hours brushed quickly today, I hoped it also brushed as quickly as today every day. I know there wouldn't be a big possibility when I wasn't even happy. I would have to figure out my own feeling for her soon, if I couldn't do it, she said she wouldn't come back. I missed her so much.

I went back to my house to do my homework, and revise for the coming Biology test for an hour. Then, I went to take a shower, and started to prepare myself. Again, clothes were spread on my bed. Ugh, I really love my dear sister.

As planned, Jasper knocked on the door at 4:45, whom will actually arrived there on the exact time. 1 hour and 15 min on the road, now wasn't the time of traffic jam, so perfect. He would drive Alice from the Cullen's house to Kielh's -the Italian Restaurant-while Emmett and I would bring Rose's home-made Chicken Fra Diavolo to there.

Being the smart ass I was, I've made a query on whether I could bring some outside-food as it was a birthday present to my sister when I reserved on the phone. She said our expenditure must exceed $300, before I could bring any. I've asked Dad about that, and he said yes.

My mind darted to these days at school. Jasper I've never seen Jas so nervous, he was always the calm one, the opposite of Alice. I've even saw him blush yesterday. He has had that crimson color on his face for the whole lunch time in the cafeteria. Alice giggled like a lovely puppy beside him, I was sure she knew about her present from Jas, but I didn't think Jas did slip a word for, so it must have been that special gift of her-as she said- that she saw the ring. I don't know.

At that time, all I wanted was to laugh at him, saying he was behaving like a girl, but I knew that for a guy to have that feeling was common enough, just imagine what my love would think when she one day get my promise ring made me shivered. Those images and thoughts in my head already scared the hell out of me. What if that really happen, I was sure I would have fainted.

I didn't feel like going out so early, I could go there 15 minutes later, after all of them was out. I could even manage to be there on time.

Therefore, I went into my room, and switched on my iPod. Music always made me relaxed, especially Bella's. I don't understand why, I felt a pull towards her music. Maybe it was because most of her songs were about me -which she said it was for a boy she has loved for years on a TV show last week- I 'm not so sure, but I hope it was, this thought made my heart warm. I just couldn't figure out why.

15 minutes later, I went downstairs with the disc and found that all of them were gone; they must have taken off when I was in my room. I quickly went straight to my car, and get into the seat. I heard the sound of my car roaring, and I speed off.

With the speed I was now driving, and seeing that there wasn't much traffic, I might not need an hour, which would be great. I remembered Bella always said that I was driving like a manic. She said it every time when I was speeding, and murmured that she hoped I would got a ticket from Charlie, and would be ashamed of it. And I would always wondered whether Charlie would really fined me when his dear daughter was with me, and him fining his own son-he treated me like his son- I doubted what Bella wanted would really happen. We would argued it till we were in our destination, and we would be best friends again, laughing, and talking like the debate in the car ride didn't happen.

I missed her, her smile, her laugh, her sound. I hope I could see her this year like every year before.

I parked my car in the front and went into Kielh's. "Hi, sir, may I help you?" the lady asked looking through her eye lashes. Her eyes then travelled my body before looking me into the eyes again.

"I have a reservation here. Under Cullen." I said. I didn't like them looking at me like I was a piece of meat.

"Please. Follow me, they are all waiting for you, Mr. Cullen," She lead me to our table, and winked at me before going away.

"It seems that our Eddie is so attractive that all chicks wink at him when he passes by."

I glared at him but said nothing. Not all of them, at least there is one that didn't even want to see me. I looked through the menu, I didn't want anything. I didn't have the appetite; the sadness has made me lost my appetite. But I would have to order something, I couldn't make people sad because of me. So therefore I ordered the first thing I saw in the menu, Mushroom Ravioli... and a cup of coke.

While waiting for our dish to come, "Happy Birthday Aly,I haven't told you today." I said with a smile.

"Thank you, Edward, love you, dear bro." She stood up and hug me fiercely. Always the energetic girl, but that's my sister.

"Love you too,"I whispered in her ears, I could her smiled. That's good.

One dinner came, and we chatted. Carlisle and Esme asked how we are doing in our school, and gave us support when we said that we didn't do well on some subject, and they told us to try our best.

When we finally finsihed the last dish of our meal, Esme said, "It's time for present, Alice." And my sister grinned. I knew she had waited this for a long time.

"Well, I think we still have something to eat..." Emmett said.

"What do you mean? We have finished our dinner already. Don't tell me you are still hungry?" Alice mocked a shocked face. She knew how Emmett could be sometimes.

"Well, I will be if I am having that."

"Happy Birthday, Alice." Rose said putting her dish on the table.

"That is... is that Chicken Fra Diavolo?" Alice said with tears coming out. Rose nodded. "I thought I could never eat that again in this year. Rose, I love you."

"We'll eat that later," Carlisle said. "Now, is it Emmett?" he asked questioningly.

"OK, I will go, Alice," Aly then gave her attention to her brother," I saw that you have held a interest for photography lately and have been eyeing the one in the magazine for a long time, so I brought that."

"That's great, I would take that with me everywhere I go."

"Are you going to take that with you when you guys are in the room?" Em asked.

The next we know is that Emmett was screaming, "What's that for?"

"For talking like that to her," Rose replied. We all know what has happen... Poor Em to be with a girl liked this, but he deserved it.

Well, the next was me then, I handed Bella's CD to her, "Happy birthday, again, Aly."

"Thank you, Bella released this just a day before my birthday, I am so happy that she did that for me, and you give me this, I am now extremely happy!" she exclaimed, "I am glad you like it." I answered.

Well, as a tradition, the lover of the birthday girl/boy will be the last to give their present which meant that Mom and Dad would go first. "We've brought you a new laptop, dear. I hope you used it wisely."

"Sure, mom" Esme put the laptop on the table, "OMG, that's my favourite color, purple."

"We have a special present for you, dear." I was so intrigued by the facial expression on Alice's face. I found that my baby sister has grown so much, not the one that used to hide behind my back when she was young. I might even miss that little girl that I adored so much.

Before I could think of anything, I heard that - the voice that I wished to hear every single minute...

* * *

** I hope you guys can review to support me, School and studies really tired me out. BTW, those who add my story to fav, alert...: thanks! but can you review to let me know what you think? thx.**

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	15. Chapter 15 Finally you talk

**so here it is. Chapter seven, probably 2 or 3 more chapters to go before Bella came back. Love you guys reviews btw. Twilight belongs to SM...**

Chapter Seven

EPOV

It was her voice, the one that I have missed so much. I could easily identify without someone telling me who she was. Instantly, I went to the computer to see if it was on web camera, or just a video. Disappointingly, it was just a video that was recorded yesterday. The date was shown.

Alice was back from shock; her eyes were watering, tears threatening to fall... "Mom, I love you, I haven't seen Bella for so long, and this birthday present was one of the most amazing present I have received for so long."

"Stop crying, honey, I am sure Bella doesn't want to see you like this, and save your tears, because the coming present might need them." Esme smiled and winked at Jasper. Jasper beamed back.

Alice gave Jasper a big smile, as if to say give me. Jasper took a big step forward, and was now standing right in front of Alice. He handed the gift to her, and whispered in her ear. "Happy birthday, Aly."

Alice opened the gift, the word "wow" slipped from her mouth. "You liked it?"

"No," I could see that Jasper's face dropped, but knowing my sister, I know what she was going to say, "I love it." The smile then appeared back on Jasper's face.

"Is this?" Alice asked, I was sure she knew what that is, but she still asked.

"A promise ring. I couldn't afford marriage yet, but I promise to love you forever."

"I love you too, Jazzy." Alice kissed Jasper with so much passion that it hurt to see. Carlisle and Esme didn't scold them this time, because they knew they couldn't interrupt this time, all they wanted was their daughter to have a moment to remember forever.

After the kiss, Jasper put the ring on Alice left ring finger. It suited her. I felt happy for my little sister.

"Congratulation," I said, patting jasper's back, and kissing Alice's cheek after.

"Congrats, brother." Rose hugged Jasper.

"Thanks, sis." Jasper responded.

Emmett then gave Jas a thumb up.

Rose and Esme were surrounding Alice already, seeing how beautiful the ring was. Bella... she should be here to share this happiness with her best friend, my sister, it was me who make her left, who take away the chance from her to be happy for Alice.

As if she knew what I was thinking, Aly walked towards me and said, "Don't blame yourself, Edward. You should be happy for what she achieved." I smiled, but I know this one was not a real one, I didn't think I could smile happily before I really see her again. I hoped she came back soon, I hoped this year could go away faster.

.

Three months later...

"Edward, get your butt in front of the television" Rose yelled from downstairs.

Bella... Rose and the others knew that I had become one of her fans soon after they discovered that I bought one Bells' CD for myself. Well, I couldn't blame them, they didn't go everywhere searching for my things. I was the one putting her songs everywhere I could. They could guess it easily, even without using their brains.

Back to the television, all I saw was Bella with another male, anger rushed through me, "who is he?" I wondered; you rarely see Bella doing functions with men, especially not this kind. Handsome and hot? Yu should be kidding me, right? What if she liked him?

Then someone in my heart asked, "why do you care?'

"I don't know, I just feel angry, I feel like someone is betraying me."

"Are you jealous?" Something clicked in my mind, so this feeling is jealous. I haven't experienced it even when I was with Tanya. Whether she was trying to get my attention flirting with other boys, or really flirting with them, there's no jealousy.

I looked back to see what it was about and see that it was the movie that Bella was going to take part in-You are my life now.(A/N: I am sure you guys remember this quote, right?) She was going to play Catherine Patty, a girl who lost her parents, and after going through many tough things, find her true love.

So, this guy is going to play William Gibson. But who was he?

Carrying this doubt, I went to Alice's room; she seemed like the one who could share my feelings. I didn't want to talk to the boys, I was afraid they would laugh at me, though I knew they wouldn't, but still I couldn't share it with them. Sometimes, it was better to share it with girls. And the girls, between Rose and Alice, of course I would choose Alice, although I treated Rose as a sister too.

"Hi, Edward, any problems? Do you need my help in anything?" Alice couldn't hide the smirk she was giving me, could she? I was sure she knew what I want. She knew everything.

"Who's that guy?" I growled.

"Are you jealous, brother?" After her leaving for six months, I almost knew what my feelings towards Bella was, _almost... _but not so sure. I liked her. That's pretty obvious to me now. I couldn't deny it anymore. I wouldn't deny it anymore, but the only and the most important thing was that is it more than friendship, that I like her, really like her? I couldn't figure it out yet.

"I am not sure, Alice, the anger was building inside me when I saw them laughing, having jokes together..." My voice was lower and lower, Alice almost couldn't hear it if she didn't pay me any attention.

"Edward," her face softened, the smirk had disappeared. "You've figured that you like Bella right?"

"Yes, but I don't know is it more than friendship."

"I know, you know why you are angry is because you are jealous, and this is because you like Bella."

"But maybe it is because I am afraid that I would lose my best friend. Like when we were little, I was always unhappy because you take Bella to shopping or do the makeup."

"Do you really believe that you are jealous because of this? Best-friend-being-stolen-thing?"

"I don't know, Alice. I really don't know.' I yelled, putting my hands over my head.

"Relax, Edward, yelling doesn't help anything." Alice said while patting my back.

"I am sorry." I smiled.

"It's okay, back to the topic. All I can tell you is to trust your heart. Follow it. It will tell you what you feel, this time; don't use your brain, only your heart won't lie to you."

"I'll try," I promised her. At the same, I promised myself that I am going to give Bella an answer when she came back, I have already wasted six months to figure out I like her, and didn't know what kind of _like_ that was. I've got half a year left only. I couldn't waste anymore time, no more time could be wasted.

"But you haven't told me who that guy was." I reminded her.

"You really want to know, does it matter much?"

"As her diehard fan, I want to. As her best friend, I want to know too."

"Okay, he is Jacob Black, the Hollywood "it" boy. 19 this year. They are filming "You are my life now""; she quoted in the air, soon. I am sure you know this already, as you said you are her diehard fans."

"Thanks for the information, Alice", I kissed her on the cheek, and walked outside her room. _So this is Jacob Black…_

.

(A/N: I actually wanted to write BPOV, but I am afraid you guys won't like it. As this part is for Edward.)

20thJune

My birthday, the first one without Bella after we became bff. I missed her, so fucking much. I wondered whether she would give me a present this year. If not, I would understand. I won't blame her if she thought it was not right.

As usual, they have the family meeting; I hid myself inside my room, listening to Bell's CD again.

This year's plane was more or less the same as Alice's birthday. We went out to have dinner. But we are going straight back home, to celebrate the remaining time of the birthday.

I took my car, and drove to the parking lot. I opened the door, and was greeted by a waitress. She was shock, and then back to normal.

"Hi, may I help you?" I could easily figure out that she is trying to be seductive.

"I think there is a reservation under Cullen?"

"Yes, sir." She leaded me to the table.

"Mr. Cullen?" She asked questioningly. I gave her a short nod. "Here is your menu," and she bent down her body to whisper in my ear, "If you need anything, call me. I'll be here in a minute. I am Shirley by the way." Then, she left. At the same time, my families came in.

"Already being flirted?" Emmett's booming voice filled the whole restaurant. We got glances from a few of the customers.

"Lower down your voice. Emmett." Esme scolded her son, "We are in the public."

"Yes, and sorry, mom."

We ordered and talked about different things. My families all wished me happy birthdays again. But the one I mostly wanted to see saying this wasn't here. I faked a smile, I knew they could all see through it, but they wouldn't say anything, anymore, they are used to it already.

"So, do you have any birthday wishes this year?" Jasper asked.

"Many", I told him, I really have many. For example, I hope this coming half a year will pass more quickly, at the same time, I hoped I would soon figure out what my feelings towards Bella was. Moreover, I wanted to be with Bella forever, I didn't know if I wanted to be her best friend to be with her forever, or as her lover. I was so confused.

We ate our dishes in silence. Seeing my parents and them so happy, I felt like a seventh-wheel.

"So, Edward, would you like to open your presents here? Or at home?"

"At home, please."

"Ugh, that means we will have to bring them back!" Alice whined like a baby.

"Stop whining like a baby, Alice, you have cars." Rose told her.

"Okay, okay." Alice replied.

That's why I loved Rose so much _sometimes_.

The drive back home was nothing special. I went into the house with Mom and Dad behind me, and my dear friends and family in front of me.

"First, we are giving you the cake." Esme placed the cake on the table. They all stood around the table, and started singing, "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Edward, and Happy Birthday to you. Blow the candle and make a wish."

I made_ wishes_, I knew I was too greedy, but I hoped my wishes would come true. I blew the candle afterwards.

"Present Time." Alice announced.

Mom and dad handed me a Netbook. "Thz, daddy and mommy." I wondered if there was a video of Bella inside, liked what Alice got at her last birthday.

Rose handed me a new watch, yea, mine has broken lately. Emmett then handed me a book called, "How can I be happy again" I smiled, I knew I would be happy once I saw Bella again, but I would make use of this book to try to make myself happy before she come back.

Jasper handed me a board, with all our photos-mainly Bella with me- in it. That is amazing for a guy to do this craft-or art- for his best friend. What a thoughtful guy. Alice was lucky.

"Thank you, that was pretty awesome, yours is the most grateful one."

"You will take it back once you see what I give you." Alice said, I am curious what she has prepared for me. Then she handed me an envelope. Air tickets?

"What is that?" I asked.

"Open it" was what I received from Alice.

I take out the paper inside- it was a letter- and unfolded it. Oh My Gosh, it was from Bella.

_Dear my love, _

_First of all, happy birthday~ I am actually uncertain if I can call you "love" at this moment, I love you, but maybe that is not appropriate, I don't know. Anyway, you're now 18 years old. What's your feeling? I hope they are good._

_I heard from Alice that you are a big fan of mine! I am so happy that someone so close to me loves my music. I am now it California, preparing for my new song:) I am so excited!_

_I'm not sure what I should write in this letter, because I have too many things I want to tell you, but I don't know what to write first. I am not ready and prepared to face you yet. I am sorry. _

_I am also sorry that I left you so suddenly half a year ago, I knew that was not fair to you, but I was so confused at that moment, I was just following what my heart told me to do, my mind kept telling me to stay here for you, to support you, but my heart was telling me to escape from you, that it would bleed once I saw you with Tanya again. By the way, I am so sorry that you have broken up with Tanya, she did not deserve you. _

_That's what my feeling has been, was, is, and will be in the future before you tell me what I am to you. _

_I didn't ask Alice or Rose about your feeling or whatsoever that tells me what you think of me in that way. I am going to listen it from your mouth. _

_Although I am not ready to face you, I hope I can write to you through e-mail. Do you think that is possible? I've considered writing letters, but I am not always in a particular place, it would be very inconvenient. I've changed my e-mail, because some of my "so-called" friends before have leaked my personal e-mail out, the new one is izb_edchotmail(dot)com I hope you send mails to me. If not, I will consider that you don't like this. _

_P.S. 6 more months to go_

_Lots of love from your _ (I hope you can fill the blank for me according to what you feel it would be) _

_Bella Swan _

I folded the paper, Bella missed me too... I missed her for sure, so freaking badly.

I wanted to cry, and crawled in her arms now, begging and thanking her understanding and forgiveness. I didn't deserve any of them.

I made a mental promise to myself that I would try my very best to figure what she is to me, no matter what the result would be. I didn't want to miss the chance that she might be the right girl for me. If I missed it, I would be living with regrets throughout my life. I couldn't miss it.

"I'm going upstairs." I told them. They smiled with understanding. Bella must have told them already, again, I was the last to know, but I didn't mind it at all. My happiness covered it.

I jumped two stairs at a time, willing to get in front of my old laptop as soon as possible. After a long 30 seconds, I was finally in front of it.

I cross-legged sat on my bed comfortably and logged in to my e-mail account. I took a deep breath, what should I write? I am glad you finally wanted to talk to me? Will it be a little bit mean? So I started with what seemed to be simple.

To: izb_edchotmail(dot)com

From: edwardC_620hotmail(dot)com

Time: 20 June 2009 22:47

Subject: Hey, Bells!

How are you doing, Bella/Izzy?

I hit "send", I hoped she will reply soon.

I went back downstairs to meet my family; they were now in the sitting room.

"Edward, since it is your birthday, we think that you should be the one to pick the movie, though I strongly opposed it, because I hate every movie you pick. Last year, remember you pick the what, let me see, yea, the SpiderMan I, or II, I forget, but that was boring. You know. I hate that movie." Alice pouted.

"Haha, typical Alice. Only love romance."

"Okay, okay, you pick the movie this year, good...? I don't want people complaining in the middle of it. That was so annoying." I said glaring at my little sister.

She stuck her tongue out at me.

"Childish" was my response. But that's why I loved my sister.

Leaving the choice for Alice to make, mean that you are going to watch some movies like "High School Musical" That movie, I swore we must have watched the three of them twice at least. Those songs, using Emmett's quote. "Those are movies for those who haven't experience love yet. Not for me."

I really regretted giving into Alice's puppy eyes, and the pout, to be honest, it worked every time, and she knew it, and she used it against me every single time.

Moreover, she taught Bella, who made me agreed to everything she said every time she did it. I remember the last time she did it to me was when she discovered Alice and Jasper's secret dating, and was asking me why I didn't tell her. God, I miss her pout and her puppy eyes.

Half way through the movie, Carlisle and Esme got up, "Guys, Dad and I was going to bed. Good night. If you need us, just knock on the door. Happy Birthday, Edward." she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Happy birthday, son" Carlisle said, give me a man-hug.

Soon after they have left, I started to become unconscious while thinking about Bella.

All I knew was that I was woken up by Alice when the movie ended. And I went back to my room, and saw that there was a new e-mail in my mail box, but I was too tired to do anything with it. I just hopped onto my bed and doze off again. That's how my birthday this year went.

* * *

**I 'll try my best to write longer next time... k? Reviews will make my day. Can you...? **

** I saw that some of you have add me to your fav. But can you guys review too? to let me knw what you think. Thx! Ciao next time.(prob a week later. I am trying to post regularly.)**


	16. Chapter 16 Admit it to myself

**A/N: Seems that I couldn't keep my promise to you, and to me... I will try to finish up the story asap. This is the second last chapter of Part II. and Part III is coming up soon.**

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Can't you wait for me? Chapter Eight

EPOV

Things were always meant to happen. This was fate. A girl and a boy met, they became friends, and friendship blossomed into romance. If either or both of them didn't have the courage to admit their love, it would be useless, and they might miss the chance to be with one another. But when your life crossed each other again in the future, would you be brave enough to grab your love this time, or would you just let it slip through your fingers? If you did, were you sure that you wouldn't regret when you were old?

Three months after my birthday, today was 8th September. Thinking back to what has happened in the last three months. There were many, many. But there were not really many, just enough for me to understand I have feelings for her, my Bella. I've again used a long, long time to figure something out, then to admit it.

Before, I might think that I've wasted almost 9 months to admit to myself only, that I have feelings for her. But these few weeks, I finally came around to the fact that if I've not used this long, long time, I might have stubbornly disbelieved that she was my best friend, only. BFF, then the letter "F" of the word might really come true.

_Forever_

Something that I now hated to be - her _Best Forever Friend_. I wanted one of the letters "F" to be canceled. Therefore, it would be BF, which means...

_Boyfriend_

If I really disbelieve my feelings for her, I would regret this stupid belief the whole life.

All the puzzles were solved in my head thanks to many things.

Most of all, Alice.

Flashback

The day after my birthday, I woke up as usual, before I went into the bathroom, something from the computer attracted me. First, I didn't recognize what that is, but then memories of what has happened the previous night came back to me. The only word and thought that moment was,

_Bella_

I quickly grabbed my laptop, and put it on my lap. Ouch, it hurt - _the heat_.

I quickly pushed it at the back of my mind. I waited for it to load, probably just a second, but it was like eternity to me.

To: edwardC_620hotmail(dot)com

From: izb_edchotmail(dot)com

Time: 20 June 2009 01:23

Subject: Hey

Of course Bella. Izzy is... not for you, ok?

Miss you like hell. I hope the following 6 months come faster.

I gasped at the sight of the words "Miss you like hell". I already knew she missed me as much as I missed her. But I don't know she really wanted to talk something that is so heavy in e-mails; I thought she wouldn't want to touch any touchy subjects.

If she missed me as much as I did, why didn't she come back now? And have to wait for 6 months...?

Therefore I quickly replied her. And the question in my mind is my topic.

To: izb_edchotmail(dot)com

From: edwardC_620hotmail(dot)com

Time: 21 June 2009 07:33

Subject: Why then?

Why didn't you come back now? I miss you too, btw.

I went into the bathroom, and brushed my teeth. Then going back into my room to change my clothes, everyday the same routine... blah, blah, blah.

Walking down the stairs with the side of my mouth tilting up.

"What's up, brother, anything happy happen that make that grin on your face." Alice beamed, she must know something. Then I realized I smiled too widely.

"It must be that Eddie read my book last night, and now he is making it into action, therefore he is so happy. See, my present is the most useful. By the way, Edward, which trick did you use?"

I chuckled.

"Emmett, I haven't read your book yet." his face dropped. "I just got an e-mail from Bella." I blurted out, "Why do I have to tell you?" I was asking myself more than them.

"O... So here Eddie boy is happy over an e-mail."

"Shut up." I said, feeling embarrassed. "And don't call me Eddie Boy. Or I'll..." I added.

"What? Or I'll punch you, some sort like that, don't think so. Little brother." Emmett smirked.

"Maybe, I'll just tell Rose some silly things you did when we are little. Remember, Mr. Monster?" I asked. This time the smirk was on my face.

Emmett's face dropped, "Don't you dare!" he warned me.

"We'll see." I told him.

Mr. Monster was the big, fat, ugly guy with no feet-described by Emmett- who climbed out under the bed every night when he was sleeping soundly, and actually, it was just mom, who came into the room to see how we were sleeping. When I heard it, I laughed hysterically.

We went to school as usual, have lessons... and then we came back to our house.

I went to my room, and checked the e-mail. Bella sent one back.

To: edwardC_620hotmail(dot)com

From: izb_edchotmail(dot)com

Time: 21 June 2009 17:03

Subject: Re:

Of course I miss you two, so how's school? Anything special happen?

I couldn't have time to answer anything. A box popped out from Skype, "Bella Swan is online."

I quickly clicked the box, and typed, "Hi"

"Hey"

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Phototaking for the magazine. You?"

"Talking with you. Ha-Ha. But soon start homework."

"Oic. I miss my school work." I didn't know what to comment on this. Therefore, I questioned the one I have been begging to hear for a long time.

"Really? Then y dun u c'm back?" I waited anxiously. I didn't know what she was going to reply.

"I can't just come back, I've signed the contract for a year." So that was not because of me. The reason why she didn't come back had nothing to do with me.

"If u can, u wil, right?"

"Of course :D"

"XD!"

I felt relieved and somehow glad that I was not the cause of losing her for that long. I knew I was not making any sense. But love don't make sense, right? I had been saying the word love for a period, maybe I really do like her, or even love her in that way.

End of flashback

After feeling relieved, there were other feelings I was feeling, like jealousy. I thought that would only happen in books, or maybe just girls. But no, I was jealous in reality.

Flashback

I was finishing my homework when Alice bounced into my room, jumping up and down, pointing at the television, I guessed.

"Edward, you should switch it on, Bella is on TV." I immediately sit in front of the television, with the remote control in my hand.

Bella came into view with that Jacob guy in her hand. I felt the possessive side was rushing through my body. Jealousy. The questions, which I knew it was unreasonable. She was not my girlfriend, but still I felt it every time I saw them together.

It was like they couldn't leave me alone. But I knew they were the only prove that I had feelings for my Bella.

Again. My Bella.

The words just slipped through my brain. But they seemed right, I felt they were right.

Then something clicked in my mind, why did I want it so badly? Did I want Bella to be mine, like forever? Maybe I did, that's why this whole thing happened, the jealousy.

If that's what I was feeling, should I do something with it? Like finally cracked open my hard shell, and admitted it to the whole world, that's what a girl like Bella did deserved, no hiding.

But what should I do, immediately telling her, or maybe wait for her to come back, I am not sure, my mind was so messed up, like there was a hurricane.

Pacing in back and forth in my bedroom, with my mind going all directions, searching for all the things that I could have done with my new found realization. I was so excited, and yet, quite afraid, to do anything. I knew I should have found Alice, but I wanted to do this myself this time, I didn't want anyone's opinion to change my decision, as I knew I was an easily influenced person when it came to relationship, girls, and stuff like that. I had to stay strong in my determination, which I knew that's what Bella would like to see.

I quickly sat back down on the bed and calmed myself, and that's when I realized that I have been hyperventilating for a while. I take a hard breathe in and then breathed out. Then in my mind, the wheels started to move again.

There are many alternatives, like I can send e-mail to her, maybe even a letter, and then I could web cam with her. Or even better, I can fly to L.A. to meet her in person, or I should wait until she came back which is 3 months later, but could I wait that long? I asked myself, I was not sure.

I didn't know what I should do; I was so messed up...

Ideas came rushing in, but it was band as soon as I thought about it, rushing out again and again.

Stop acting like a pussy, Cullen.

I was acting like a pussy, I know, who was afraid of taking the step. However I knew this step was big, which would put us together or either tear us apart. In just a minute. Which I didn't want to waste that minute doing silly things, doing things I would probably regret for eternity, so I had to prepare myself for the best.

When I couldn't think of anything, I did the thing that always lit my mood, checking my mail, I knew Bella would always reply as soon as she could.

We started writing since my birthday, saying normal stuff that best friends would say, everytime I wanted to ask her when she is coming back, but I would always afraid that she would then stopped replying and talking with me. Again, I couldn't take the risk. It is rare that we get chances to mend what we did wrong, when you had, you had to treasure it, like I said, it might tear us apart.

Glaciers melting in the dead of night

And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

(Ooh, you set my soul alight)

Glaciers melting in the dead of night

And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

(Ooh, you set my soul)

Supermassive black hole

Supermassive black hole

Supermassive black hole

Supermassive black hole

Suddenly, my mobile buzzed. Jasper, aren't they downstairs?

"Hey,"

"Hey, where are you guys,"

"well when you were pacing the room like there is no end, we went out. What I mean is me and Em only, Alice and Rose went shopping..."

"Again? They will never be tired of it."

"That is our Alice. We are now in 21's Century. You coming?" Jas asked.

I wanted to declined, but maybe I really needed a drink right now, to clear all the things in my head. "Sure, be there in 10, see you."

"Bye," then I hung up the phone.

I grabbed the first T-shirt in the drawer, and the pants I wore yesterday. Once I was ready, I headed off with my I-phone, purse, house keys, and car keys.

I went into my baby, and speeded off the road, the whole car ride was silent, no music... Sometimes, silence was better...

After a short ride, the bar was in front of me. As soon as I went in, I spotted Emmett and Jasper.

"Hey," I patted Jas's shoulder.

"Hey! buddy."

"Go get your fucking drink." Em ordered.

"Yes, sir."

I came back with the whiskey in my hand. It tasted nice, heaven... maybe that was what I need, to get drunk, and to get Bella out of my head. I wanted silence tonight. Only me in my head tonight.

"You missed her" It came out more like a statement than a question. Jasper started the conversation, he wanted to know, but like he hasn't known it already.

"Stop asking me like you haven't known it already." I snapped.

"Easy there, brother... Don't get so angry, Jas here is just trying to start a conversation." Emmett patted my back.

"Oh... Means that he always needs to ask a question about Bella, right?" Don't they have other quesitons to ask?

But are they going to ask me about homework, before they might discuss sports with me, but I didn't really take much part in it lately, so what did you want them to converse with you?

I sighed, "Sorry Jasper, I didn't mean to let them spit out, I didn't plan to discuss Bella tonight, and you just caught me off guard." I tried to reason with me and at the same time, with myself.

"Edward, did you accidentally use the wrong tense, or you intended to use it to mean another thing?" Jas frowned.

"What do you mean?" Emmett asked.

"Edward just now said that he didn't plan to, but did you now mean that maybe you might like to discuss about Bella?" OMG! Why did Jasper have to be so attentive? I thought if he didn't catch that, we could leave it behind, but he had to catch it, so easily. However, I have to admit that some part of me wanted him to catch it, and so I can release my thoughts to them...

"Yes, you are right, if only you would like to hear, and won't tell your women after." I said, "Especially Alice" I added, glancing at them.

They looked at each other for a while, and finally give in, "okay, we promised."

"But I don't know where to start, and what do you want to know." I told them, I just really not good at this.

"People always said start at the beginning, right? So why not we also start like that?"

"What a brilliant idea, Emmett, but that might take quite long, be prepared."

"Okay, although I might be there when you guys met, I would also like to know what you point of view is, how do you feel." Jasper explained, "Let's start then."

"Okay, let me see, I remembered the first time I met Bella was in 5th grade. She is the new student. As usual, she was the new gossip, just like now, when ever there is a new student, they talked non-stop about her until something new came up.

The day she arrived, I was up in a tree, I was always there, enjoying the silence, and the pleasure that the height had given me. It was awesome. She was down there reading a book; I saw her hair, mahogany, and so long. It was lovely. My curiosity grew, therefore I bent over to see her face, but soon, I lost my balance, and dropped down. I remembered the pain, my ass fucking hurts."

"hahahaha", Emmett, "I... I ne...never thought... you me...met her... like that." he said between laughter.

Jasper gave him a look and said, "Continue, Edward. Don't mind him."

I gave him a smile and continued, "We talked about different stuff, and we instantly became friends. I introduced her to you guys at lucnh break. That was it. Years passed, I never knew that she is in love with me. I thought she treated me like her own brother. Never in those relationship.

Things started to change when I dated Tanya in last year. I knew now that I was an idiot, and should never do something that stupid. We still hang out sometimes, but not that close anymore, she became closer to Alice, and Rosie.

At first, I thought she needed to have some girly time, not always with a guy. But after some time, it was still like that. I didn't know what to do, but I didn't think Bella even realized something happen. However, now I knew why, she can't bear being with me... when I was with Tanya..."

"Stop a moment, Edward." Emmett asked.

"What?"

"You think she can't bear being with you?"

"Yea..."

"If that's the case, why did she have to ride with you everyday? She can take her car, or even ask Alice to give her a ride, but she asked you, did you ever think about this?"

"I... I..." I didn't have an answer.

"It was because she wanted to spend some alone time with you. Alone." I never thought it would be like this. That she would treasure that short period of alone time with me. What a stupid best friend I was in the past.

"She treasured it, and I wasted it." I realized.

"Are you happy at that short period of time? Did you look forward to it every minute in your life before?" Jasper asked.

"I am happy." I stated what was obvious to me. Very clear in front of me.

He smiled. "Then it didn't matter as you are happy. It might be selfish, but I knew Bella was happy whenever she was with you. So, it won't matter. Remember, she was happy. She could bear you no matter what happened."

"Now I knew she is happy, but at the same time, I knew I had hurt her accidentally. I thought that was love, what I had for Tanya. Saying her name now disgusted me. She was beautiful on the outside, with make up covering her, and her inside was ugly and black. I didn't know why at that time, I was so attached to her. I would never know why.

And then that night came, she planned to run away after the movie night. I didn't know what came to me; it just hit me that maybe it's time to bring Tanya back to introduce to my parents, though I knew all of them hate her. But I still tried.

After I have fetch Tanya, I asked where Bella is, and Alice told me that she left. I thought she went home. And actually, what she said also meant that Bella will leave soon. I didn't know, and later I found it out with a letter and a phone call.

The letter told me everything. Although it didn't really ask me to figure out my feelings, I knew Bella would expect me to do so, once she came back. That is why from the day she left; I have been so confused with my own feelings. I have been giving myself excuses. But I finally figure it out tonight.

I saw them together. They were holding hands, laughing at some inside jokes that only they will understand. I was jealous. I knew that, I wanted to say that she is mine. My Bella, this word always came into my brain. I wanted it to be real. I wanted to tell Bella, but I am very messed up, I didn't know what I should do with this new found realization. I wanted it to be romantic for Bella and me when I tell her, and yet, I wanted it to happen now.

I have been feeling like a pussy for hours. Help me, Jasper. You are our fucking theorist." I exclaimed.

"Relax... Edward. We are here for you, brother."

"Edward. I will help you, don't worry. Don't be so stressed. I am sure Bella don't want to see and know that there is a depressed Edward out there, right?"

I nodded. I didn't have energy to speak anymore; I take a big gulp of the whiskey.

_Ugh,_ it tasted good.

"Edward, have you ever thought you can give her some hint that you missed her, and you might be setting up something that she wanted for a long time? Tips and hints? You know? And then you might actually get her come back as early as possible."

"This might be a good idea," I replied," but she told me that she have many things planned."

"Schedule can always be changed." Emmett stated. This is another rare time, that you saw Emmett being so serious-when necessary-that is why I love him so much.

I smiled. "Maybe, that's what I have to do."

End of Flashback

.

I did what was suggested, and Bella told me that she is coming a month earlier, November, after a few e-mails. I was so glad that Jasper's plan worked out.

I was looking forward to seeing her again. I missed her. And I regretted all the time that I lost, missed, and wasted in my past, but I am gonna make it up soon.


	17. Chapter 17 Her birthday

A/N: I know that christmas was days ago, but I hope this can be a belated(is there a word like this?) christmas and new year present for you guys. I did put lots of effort in this XD School has been chasing after me, i didn't really like using this as an excuse, but yea, that's my reasion, i couldn't not tell you. I could only update and and write from now on, instead of once a week, we may even have to see each other only once a month, but I will try my very best, ok? I promise!

Merry Christmas! After the exam in the end of the month, I will update one chapter at least.

* * *

Can't you wait for me? Chapter 9

EPOV

Ugh... Ugh... It's still in the middle of September. Two more months to go, it might be really long. People always said that a year passes very fast, without you knowing it. Before I may have believed in it, but now, or especially this year, it felt like a decade when it was just a year, or to be exact, 9 months.

As fast as it was, Bella's birthday was just a few days later. Today was already the 15th, three more days to go. I remembered how we spent her birthdays every past year, but now... She was - has been- family to us, the Cullens. To celebrate a Cullen birthday, you'll have a family meeting, and the next half of that birthday girl(or boy) will be the one who gives his or her present at last as if to mean it's the end of the celebration.

However, as Bella wasn't with anyone, still single for the past years, not that she didn't go on dates with anyone; she just said that she hasn't met the one, her Mr. Right. I wondered, if she did mean it, or she was saying that just to cover what she feel for me. You may say I was a little narcissistic, but I hoped it was the last one, that she just didn't want to make me notice what she felt, and she had find the one - me - but no matter what i was feeling at this moment, I would never know what she was thinking until November.

As far as Bella and I was, I still had to prepare a birthday present, I have made a promise to myself that I would give her a present every year and never forgot her birthday. I remember how stupid I was at that time, but if it means it made me remember, and made Bella happy everytime I did something for her, then why not?

I ran down to the basement - or my so-called music room - inside was all the instruments, that I know how to play - guitar, piano, drums, etc- I've always been making a song, for her, my Bella, I would no longer doubt my feelings for her, and had second thoughts like whether I should be with her or not, stuff like that, because I know my own feelings, what I felt for her, is larger than any of my anxiety, doubts, and fear, nothing can compare to what I felt. I can't bear to lose her another time. No more second chance, I would not forgive myself, even though she might. I know my Bella.

I quickly ran to the table that was filed up with papers here and there - everywhere, you could find papers - with some notes on them, but not yet finished... They were not the best, but not bad at all. Who was the composer? Me, I was writing, composing this song, with her in mind. Thinking about her, this song was dedicated to her.

I sat on the bench, making myself comfortable; I knew once I started, I wouldn't stop. It would last at least a few hours before I let myself stopped and took a rest.

As I started, I first played those notes that I have written, it matched, and I just had to start the next part immediately. When I was playing it out, it just flew like my hands know which notes should stick together to form this beautiful song without the help of my brain.

A few hours passed, and someone knocked on the door. I turned, and it was no one other than Mom, "Hey, Edward, it is beautiful. You are composing a new song?"

"Yes, Mom." I smiled. That would be it, her birthday present.

She returned the smile and said, "Have you finished? Because it is time for dinner. We are all waiting for you."

"Okay, I'll be up in a minute." I told her, and that's when I found that I was extremely hungry, my stomach was making strange noises.

I quickly put the papers together before leaving the room; I'd take care of the rest after dinner.

After greeting my parents, I started eating, it might a little bit too fast, but that's reasonable, I wanted to finished that piece as soon as possible.

.

The piece wasn't that difficult to make when you were in the last part. I just had to spend one more hour on making the disc.

After those hours of preparing, I felt the sleepiness started to form inside... Maybe it is time to rest, closing my eyes; I dropped onto the bed and slept.

.

It's shinning, I hoped the weather was great in where Bella is right now. She deserved a good birthday, right?

Looking at the disc beside me, I smiled. I hoped she loved that, I knew I should be sending it to her, but I wanted to give it to her by myself, so I was saving it for the coming November when she is back.

Immediately, I ran in front of my laptop, switching it on. When waiting for it, I touched the birthday card-or I should said present...but wasn't Rose's present also Bella's? Or is that only Rose 's present? Never mind, anyway, they all wanted me to be happy. So what? - and wondered what I should write to her in the e-mail.

I started clicking the webpage, the first thing I saw was the headline:

"HOLLYWOOD POPSTAR IZZY SWAN'S BIRTHDAY"

I clicked to the headline. What would Bella be doing today? As a die-hard fan, Ugh! I was frustrated with myself, didn't I go over that already, and I knew I was not doing so because I was a die-hard fan, was because I was afraid that she would be spending her birthday with JACOB BLACK.

JACOB BLACK... JACOB BLACK... JACOB BLACK... Yes, JACOB BLACK!

They were like a couple, and outsiders were guessing whether they were a couple or not. Even I, I was wondering, was they...?

I knew I was jealous, but I was always using the excuse saying that I was a die hard fan. I was really afraid that when she came back, I would again use this excuse to cover my feelings and lost this chance again, and yet, I knew I couldn't lose. Not a fucking chance.

Before I could stop thinking, the website has shown that Bella was having a birthday party in L.A. with all her fans. MOREOVER, the whole party will be on live the whole night.

However, I have realized two things, first, Bella won't be with us this year.

Second, from now on, Bella is shared by the whole USA. Or maybe even the world. Before, she could actually celebrate her day, and then have the remaining night with me, alone, which mean that she belonged to me at that long period of time, for hours, I wondered when we have alone time again? When paparazzi are everywhere she went to.

And third, I think I might have fallen in love with her, I was not sure yet, but I know I couldn't live without her, a year separated from her has killed me numerous times already. I couldn't bear another time of losing her.

Bella was having a party, with cameras all on her, focusing, and giving all their attention on her. Did Bella feel save? Happy? Before, when we, the seven of us have our attention on her, she will fucking blushed, how could she be Izzy Swan when she fucking blushed every time? But then I realized that people could change, this was what she has chosen, and so she will have to do that, no matter what.

Loved by so many fans, was she happy?

It was like she was shared by the whole world. Not by me, not mine, theirs. Before, I only have to share her with the Cullens, no matter what, it was only the eight of us, but now it was not, it was shared by the whole world, all Izzy's fans.

I didn't mean to be selfish, but I really wanted to keep her to myself.

With me.

Mine.

.

THE DAY OF BELLA'S BIRTHDAY

I woke up feeling something was missing throughout the day, I knew why, because it was Bella's birthday, and she wasn't there to be with us. I have presumed I would have emotions like that, but when I had to face it, it was all hurt and pain.

However, with Bella here or not, we have discussed that we would still do something meaningful, therefore we were all there to meet up in the Cullen's living room at 6 - that's when Bella's live birthday party started.

We switched on the television. Music started to flow into my ears.

"Here is the Isabella Swan, as known as Izzy Swan, birthday party. Let's go into the party, and see how things is going on." The reporter was that chick who always revealed more than usual. Catherine. But I'd have to bear her plastic breast and cleavage the whole night, if I wanted to support my Bella. Ugh, I seemed like some creepy old fans. I shivered.

Bella was then shown in the television, dressing in that cute dress, not revealing too much, but not less either, it just suited her image. She looked fucking hot and cute. If you wanted more adjectives, I could give you more like incredibly amazing, undoubtfully pretty, fucking lovely, extremely attractive, the list went on and on...

Catherine's voice brought me back to the party, "Agh! There she is, the birthday girl. You guys want a talk with her?"

"Hey, Izzy. Happy Birthday."

"Thank you. Hope you enjoy the party." I wanted to tell my Bella that she shouldn't be treating people so nice when they were the ones talking behind you back so often.

"So how's today? How's your feeling, I think this is the first time you didn't have your party with your friends and family, right?"

"Well, I am extremely happy and ecstatic today, with all of my fans waiting in the front wishing me Happy Birthdays. It is awesome. And of course, I missed my families and friends, and yes, this is the first birthday I got away from home. I just hope I will be there with them, and the opposite."

"Oh I see. So whom do you miss most?" That was a tricky question, I knew the papparazi has been seeking to found her love interest lately and stuff that related to Jacob Black. I am sure they would be coming soon.

"I miss all of them, my parents, my external family, and my best friends, and a special friend."

"What do you mean by special friend?" I wanted to know that answer too.

"Someone that is special to me, like really special."

"Is Jacob Black here?" she asked the question that I wanted to know for a long time.

"Yes, he is, he's sending his present here, and will be leaving soon."

"Are you guys planning anything together tonight?"

"I'll be here the whole night."

"Izzy." someone called. I thought it might be her manager.

"It's nice talking to you, enjoy your time here." she said with a smile plastered on her face when she was exiting. I loved my Bella who was polite to everyone, but she just didn't know how to protect herself well.

The party then started with Bella's first song - You belong with me. The whole room was dark, and the only light in the dark was shining on Bella. She was purely beautiful.

I wanted to touch her so much, like I was actually there face to face with her.

Then she started talking, "I am extremely happy to celebrate my birthday with all of you. I just couldn't imagine how many fans are here. I was there in that little town, my lovely hometown just a year ago, and now a year later, I was standing here, in front of you guys, it was like a dream, seeing how amazing it is. To start my celebration, I am singing this song to you, the one that I wrote for him."

Loud cheering could be heard through the television. Music started to flow.

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset

She's going off about something that you said

'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room; it's a typical Tuesday night

I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like

And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts

She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers

Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find

That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along, so why can't you see?

You, you belong with me, you belong with me

That song made me grin to hard that it might hurt. It just made me happy.

.

October

Days passed and it's finally October.

I've recently received Bella's e-mail telling me when she was coming back - 20th November 2010.

This time, I wasn't the last to know, I was the first. Alice got the news hours later, telling us that we should do something to come back. She started giving suggestions on what we should do.

"Edward, do you think we can organize a party, homecoming party?" She knew she couldn't do anything without my permission; Bella always loved what I did, so as time passed, they all asked me before taking things in action.

"You know she doesn't like holding the attention."

"She is a star now! How can she dislike it?" she protested. I knew Alice had a point, but I didn't want Bella to be so tiring rather than enjoying our happy time.

"I know, but she might not want to do what she usually does when she works, right?"

"Okay, if you say so. What about a small celebration, with only the eight of us, and maybe out parents and Charlie? I promise it will be very small, really like extremely small." How could I deny my little sister when she was using her puppy eyes, looking at me? I missed Bella's puppy eyes.

"Just remember what you promised."

"Yeah, thank you, big brother." she hugged me fiercely.

.

November

From then on, we've been preparing for it; of course we first told our parents and invited Charlie-why so early? Because we didn't want him to miss his daughter's homecoming party if he has got duty, right? - And then, we went to buy all the things we need. Like the food, and drinks to refill the refrigerator.

We agreed that we would be handing her birthday present on that day too. I was looking forward to see her facial expression when she received what I get for her.

.

I have been counting the days that she would be coming back.

The sunlight was shining through the windows, as you all know this rarely happen, I hoped this might be some good signs of what I was planning for us this coming holidays.

I woke up bright and early, Bella's flight arrived at noontime, that means I still got 4 hours to prepare myself and tried to look my best.

But Alice has already chosen what I would be wearing to impress her. I did have to make an effort, right? I trusted my sister's fashion sense. She wouldn't harm me.

I took a shower after I got out of my bed, shaved and brushed my teeth.

When I walked down the stairs, the smell of the breakfast filled up the room. Tasty was the only word I got in my mind.

Soon when it was about 10:30, Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Em started to show up. We all have our breakfast with Alice talking about plans she has set up for GIRLS. That's what she emphasis.

Then I started wondering whether I would got any alone time with Bella. But I know we will get something figure out soon.

We drove in different cars, Jas and Alice would be going with Em and Rose in the Jeep. And I will be going by myself with my Volvo. Along with with Esme and Carlisle going with the Mercedes.

We speeded off the road as soon as we hit the road. It was incredible finally to see Bella after a year, or probably just 11 months, but to me it felt like forever, though I saw her everyday on television.

.

We parked out cars, and walked there to wait for Bella. I was chatting with Jasper about the up-coming football seasons, and wishing them good luck when there she was, liked a sex as she walked off the plane and across the terminal to where we were standing.

Alice clapped her hand to her mouth when she caught her. She has changed so much, the biggest, probably is fashion, that would make our Alice so happy, as if her dream finally came true, to play Bella Barbie. Before, Bella would whine and complain about the shopping trip Rose and Alice dragged her to, and more when they dressed her up, and then presented her like a fucking museum good. I wondered she still hated shopping and dressing up.

To our surprise, there was no one following Bella, no papparrazi, no manager, whom I now knew was called Demetri. Demetri Rochester. I wondered Bella chose him because of his surname. God knows how much Bella loves classic novels. Again, I wondered if she still did love it.

The minute she was walking to our directions was like you were watching a movie played in slow motion, one step and the other. You could probably hear the tic-tic sound of the clock in my mind.

When she finally spotted us, the large grin shown on her face was priceless. I finally get my Bella back.

I walked up to her for a few steps, and hugged her furiously, inhaling her scents.

"I miss you." I whispered in her year, my head at the crook of her neck.

"I know, I miss you too. I'm back now." she whispered.


End file.
